[DelusionsDaily]

T is threatening to terminate me because I am only doing one application a week for job search eventhough that was the minimum in the contract and because I don't want to do DBT at WSU(a local uni). However I didnt state that I wouldnt do it.

She is also having my parents come to my next appt to light a fire under their a**es to start making plans to kick me out of the house or put me in a group home. What the f**k ever? I would be better off without my pdoc and her anyway! F them! I dont need help and news flash, my parents kick me out I will NEVER talk to them or see them again EVER.

[nicoleflynn]

She doesn't sound like she knows what she is doing. Sounds like she has lost her perspective.

[winter4me]

Maybe it is time for you to take more control, I don't know your age or circumstances, but if you could take the initiative to move out, find a pdoc you feel better about, (even if this means getting disability vs a job for a time) and take 'control'(responsibility) for your life and decisions.
DBT is not easy, but it really could be a good start. (no, you won't get everything you need from it, it is not a cure --- but it is a way to learn more, and to do it with people who have similar issues) (((hug)))

Settle down, this will be a great time to write in your journal. Get all your anger out then look at this from their perspective. They want you to get better, and this is what will help you get better and be functional and self reliant.

[WikidPissah]

I am sorry you're so frustrated and angry. It sounds as if your t is pushing sort of hard. I don't like being told what to do either. DBT is actually a really good skill set to learn though, it may help you immensely.

[stopdog]

I thought you had a new therapist lined up. Are these two really the only therapist and psychiatrist you can work with right now for some reason?

[DelusionsDaily]

Stopdog I thought about switching therapists but because of the contract with pdoc I had to wait until I saw him(later today) and express my reasoning. However I think it might be best to give up entirely.

maybe you could take a deep breath and sit back and think "how do I want my life to be like in one year?" and then ask yourself how am I going to make that happen? Handling things the way you always have handled things is only going to keep you right where you are...

Maybe you could let the T and the PDOC help you get over these hurdles ....

One of my college friends took the giving up option, and his mother said it was the biggest F-you that he could have ever given her. For years, she remained at least somewhat angry at him as well as being absolutely devastated. It was certainly the beginning of a whole new level of agony for her.

[DelusionsDaily]

I meant just existing in another state with NO ONE around to **** with me!

That might be a good idea rather than allowing everyone else to run the show. Find a therapist and a pdoc who will work with you, keeping in mind that you will need to also respect their boundaries. A fresh start might be a good idea.

[DelusionsDaily]

Oh NO!! I am completely and utterly done with MH services. It is the biggest joke I have ever seen!

Well, that's an option, but as unstable as you have shown to be in the few months, it is probably not a healthy or safe option. Cool down a bit and work on a plan that will help you heal and move forward in your life. Running away isn't going to work. Your problems will just follow you.

[DelusionsDaily]

I guess you could say thank goodness my pdoc knows me too well. He had me schedule my next appt for about a week out and only gave me a weeks worth of script for meds. He knows when I get that pissed off the threat of retaliation with sui in some cruel and most evil way was highly probable with my now x-t. Although I fervently denied any thoughts of it...he didnt trust me and would not budge on one week appt for the next time. He also know I can be highly impulsive with it too so just b/c I am not planning anything doesnt mean it wouldnt happen anyway. God I hate that he doesnt trust me when I say Im not thinking about it. F him too.

As you just said though, "He also knows I can be highly impulsive too so just b/c I am not planning anything doesnt mean it wouldnt happen anyway", so how can he trust you with your own safety. He has no choice really by your own admission.

[DelusionsDaily]

True true true but it doesnt mean I have to like it.

No, but you probably need to accept that about yourself and try to be thankful that your pdoc knows you that well and is trying to keep you safe.

[DelusionsDaily]

He has experienced personally too many times not to know it. He's probly right about a lot of things that I cant accept right now. I will find revenge for x-t regardless of the med situation it doesnt have to sui to be absolutely cruel and evil.

[A Red Panda]

Why would you aim to be cruel and evil? Why do you need to get revenge?

None of that will help anything. If anything, it will set you further back in life because it is not improving you or your life - it would in fact be dragging those backwards. If you want to set a goal for how to be, try to best your best, not your worst.

[DelusionsDaily]

I appreciate your suggestion RedPanda. However, she fully deserves the heat of my wrath. She has been nothing but a twofaced b**** the entire time I have seen her. I am formally submitting my withdrawl of consent for her to talk to my parents if she by any chance disregards this submission formally handed to her by myself I will lodge a complaint with every board I can find relating to the ethic of a therapist and with her employer. As well as have even more fun with the revenge when she least suspects it.

Well, these things are certainly options. How do you think they will work for you? Say you do all these different things... How do you think you will feel about yourself? In a year or in five years, where will these choices get you?

Originally Posted by MELISSSAD81

I appreciate your suggestion RedPanda. However, she fully deserves the heat of my wrath. She has been nothing but a twofaced b**** the entire time I have seen her. I am formally submitting my withdrawl of consent for her to talk to my parents if she by any chance disregards this submission formally handed to her by myself I will lodge a complaint with every board I can find relating to the ethic of a therapist and with her employer. As well as have even more fun with the revenge when she least suspects it.

All this because she came up with a treatment plan you dont like? Whos the professional in this relationship? I think you're lucky they are willing to work with you. Have you thought about the possibility that another T wont take you on, especially if you do something like this?

[DelusionsDaily]

Dont EVER plan on going back to therapy. And I kept my end of the signed contact. SHE is the one that changed her mind sometime between signing the contract with me and today at 830am and never bothered to tell or discuss it with me but instead yelled and screamed for an hour about how I'm not keeping my end when in fact I am.

Why not just walk away then? Are you court ordered to stay in therapy with her?

[DelusionsDaily]

Because just walking away is letting her win and I cant have that. She is pure evil and deserves to be punished!!!!! Not court ordered and already informed her I would not be there with my parents next thursday(which also wont happen b/c I am withdrawing consent for her to talk to them). No worries it wont be too mean just good fun she probly wont appreciate.