[Freewilled]

I was reading the thread that asked if its possible to be too focused on the T relationship and I got to thinking: is it possible for the T to be too focused on the relationship?

My T brings it up a lot and sometimes it becomes the main focus of the session. He seems to think its important and a big part of therapy....I tend to agree with him but I'm not entirely sure. Can't it just be a distraction from the real reasons I go to T? Does it just depend on the persons goals whether or not the relationship is central?

I have to admit, it scares me a little bit. I'm always worried about boundaries, although my T seems to have no boundary issues. Him telling me how he feels is terrifying.

Any thoughts?

I think if T keeps bringing it up it becomes to contrived.

[feralkittymom]

I would be concerned that he is being too directive. My understanding of transference is that it is best observed by the T, but interpretations regarding it need to be carefully timed according to client "readiness." And the resolution of the transference is a latter phase of therapy.

I guess I would wonder about the T's confidence that he feels the need to keep bringing it up. And I don't understand why he is disclosing so much. That's a separate issue. I guess I don't understand his focus on the relationship aside from transference, either. I mean, if he needs to keep bringing it up to assess his own understanding, that seems odd to me.

[Freewilled]

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

I would be concerned that he is being too directive. My understanding of transference is that it is best observed by the T, but interpretations regarding it need to be carefully timed according to client "readiness." And the resolution of the transference is a latter phase of therapy.

I guess I would wonder about the T's confidence that he feels the need to keep bringing it up. And I don't understand why he is disclosing so much. That's a separate issue. I guess I don't understand his focus on the relationship aside from transference, either. I mean, if he needs to keep bringing it up to assess his own understanding, that seems odd to me.

Hmmm....you've given me a lot to think about. He doesn't usually disclose much but he did yesterday. Just how he feels which I didn't know what to do with. He seems to think the relationship in T is "real" but I don't. I think I'm more of just a paycheck. I just don't get therapy, I guess /:

[feralkittymom]

Oh--well, now I don't know. If you've been struggling with feeling a lack of authenticity in the relationship, that could explain what he's doing. I thought he was disclosing all the time and initiating the focus on the relationship.

[Freewilled]

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

Oh--well, now I don't know. If you've been struggling with feeling a lack of authenticity in the relationship, that could explain what he's doing. I thought he was disclosing all the time and initiating the focus on the relationship.

Not all the time - sorry if I wasn't clear. I tend to do that sometimes /: I'm not the best at communicating.

[feralkittymom]

But still, if it freaks you out, you should tell him. It may just be too much emotion too soon.

[boredporcupine]

T said early on to me "it's important for me that I don't come on too strong." She sat on her feelings for a LONG time until I could tolerate them, and I appreciate that.