[Mactastic]

First time poster, here.

I started therapy 4 months ago. I am a female in my mid 30’s and I sought out therapy to help me improve my relationships and self-image. My experience has been rocky because of overwhelming feelings of attraction and transference that started 2 months in. I came clean about my attraction for him (and it helped a lot!) but he doesn't know the extent of how much my feelings for him affect me between our sessions. I do plan to confide in him soon, I just need to find the words.

My confidence that we're a good fit waxes and wanes, but for now I am feeling like pushing through this transference and anxiety about allowing peers to know me (my therapist is my age - chosen specifically for that reason - I wanted to work on relationships with people my age) will benefit me in the long run.

One thing that is tearing me up inside is knowing that my therapy eventually will come to an end. I have discussed this with my therapist. It saddens me a great deal to think about leaving his office for the last time.

He claims to understand why this scares me. He reminded me my last session will be on my terms. He told me that if it helps, we can exchange small gifts or create something together (I wonder what, he never said…) as a means of finding closure. He made it seem like the final therapy session is in some ways as therapeutic as the therapy process itself, if that makes sense...

So my question is for people who HAVE ended therapy on their terms. What was it like? How did you know you were ready? Was it "special" in the sense you and your therapist marked its end in some form or fashion? I have no plans to stop any time soon. I do not open up to people easily and I feel like we're only just getting started. But I want to be mindful of the end and start to think about what it might be like.

Hi Mactastic ....welcome to PC.

You are just at the beginning of a long journey. Why worry about the end now?

I totally understand those feelings you have for your T... Many people experience that and are able to work through ....and the intensity of those feelings lessen. I totally understand the fear of abandonment that you feel...

You sound like you have a really good t...and I'm sure when he told you that ending would be on your terms so that you would feel more control and to lessen those fears of abandonment and not so you will try to decide how it should all go now...

Start by trusting your t and the process and you will see the changes you want to happen over time.

[reesecups]

I agree with ready stop. Also, any time I'e been ready to leave therapy, I knew it was time. Even if you're not ready to end therapy, but are not getting help from your therp, and discussing the issue doesn't help. You have to prioritize yourself and find someone who might be able to help more. But it sounds like you're a long way from that concern.