[Wandering Pony]

Hi everyone. I have been lurking for a while and am finally posting. I am in therapy for the implosion that happened when my long term ed ( kept under the radar with lots of running) met my newly diagnosed chronic muscle disease which prevents me from running anymore. So now instead of cross addicting I need to actually pursue recovery while dealing with the profound changes in my body from the disease.

I really have a great therapist and she encourages email. Her deal is no therapy over email so she will usually write a short supportive reply if she is online. She some times is online a lot and other weeks unplugs. So I have been waiting all weekend for a response to an emotional email. It's hard to make myself not panic and believe this is just a weekend when she is not online. I know I will probably get a response Monday or Tuesday when she is back at work but occasionally she just doesn't reply.

I went a year in therapy with no strong feelings and minimal trust then we had a few interactions that really increased my trust and we have been getting deeper and deeper since. I never emailed for the first year and now I am doing it several times a week. I am now getting panicky especially because the email was addressing how her tone in messages in the past two weeks has gone from pretty warm to rather distant. I know it could be a lot of things and I HATE how much i need her to respond.

I am just wondering how others manage when they are waiting. I have a job that keeps me very busy but it also keeps me connected almost all the time so it feels like a constant reminder of the lack of response. Also how the heck do I cope with this attachment and neediness? I have other people in my life so I don't understand it

Thanks everyone.

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[CantExplain]

Oh dear! We've been a bit slow getting back you ourselves, haven't we? Sorry about that.

Oh boy. Been there. It'll be fine. The absolute worst case scenario is that T won't get back to you at all and you'll discuss next session - which will leave you hanging an awfully long time. If you can't wait, give it a little more time then maybe leave a message for T that you've emailed them. I've actually waited, and yes, it was excruciating! It is for this reason alone that I've stopped emailing. I don't need that kind of additional stress!!

I have this theory that T's sometimes hold off on answering to either discourage it, or as some sick experiment

Also you may want to try journaling, and bring it with you to your session. It certainly helps me. Or write the email without sending. I feel much much better not waiting around for Ts reply. If you've been following these boards, you'll see all the churn and chaos emails cause everyone!

[Raging Quiet]

Have you heard anything back?

[Leah123]

Awww, I am sorry! I do the same thing all the time w/my therapist who also encourages emails, but her reply times can vary too, and I feel anxious and agonized sometimes as the wait gets longer, because I start projecting, and anticipating worst case scenarios: she's mad at me, she's tired of me, she thinks I'm not making any sense, I've offended her, etc.

Every single time, it eventually works out.

I can see how this spell of waiting would be especially difficult given you're talking to her about her response not feeling validating. I do hope she comes back soon with a comforting reply.

It helps me to be extra kind to myself and also to read over past emails where she's said encouraging things and to try and believe/remind myself she'll continue to be supportive.

I will tell you: it's very good that you wrote to her about how you feel she's been more distant. That is so important to address for good therapy to happen, so kudos for your honesty! My therapist and I have had similar conversations, sometimes very tough, but they've worked out great long-term.

[Wandering Pony]

Well....I got a response, but she kind of just skipped over what I said about being distant. We talked about some abuse stuff in my session and I always am afraid she thinks I am disgusting afterwards, so she mostly addressed that.

It was a lovely warm and encouraging email so I am trying not to read into the fact that she skipped over the stuff about distance. It does make me a little worried I did something awful that she doesn't want to talk about in email. ..but usually she will say " I think that is too sensitive a topic for email" if that is the case.

Maybe she was indirectly addressing it by writing a more typical warm email???

Not sure. Thank you all

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