Protective of T and C?

My T has noticed how very protective I am of her and my counselor, Robin. Quite a few incidents have arisen where I have come to the defense of my beloved C and T.

With my C, Robin, she is such a mother figure to me, and there is alot of transference and countertransference between us. She is the closest I have ever come and will ever come to having a mom. We both know how I feel and I know she loves me. I have a friend Dottie, one day in my developmental psych class we got talking, she was having issues I told her she should go speak to Robin, and she sniffed and goes, "I don't like Robin, she puts me off, she never listens to me. She keeps thinking I'm from Albany, and I'm not!" Oh it's not like she has 200 students to be an advisor to, or 75 students to teach, along with her few people that come to her for appointments. She goes further on to say, "I don't like her attitude, and she keeps telling me I need to take mental health services class and I don't need that I know all there is to know about it!" (It's a requirement of her degree so she does have to take it.) I gritted my teeth but inwardly I seethed, I did defend Robin, trying to reason with Dottie.

THEN a different set of friends a few weeks later is talking about Robin in the middle of Diversity class and I hear one of the girls go, "She's a sucky teacher, she doesn't even know what she's talking about." (The class she's talking about is interventions a counselling class I took with her last year, but no a counselor wouldn't know how to teach a course about counselling LOL). THEN one ***** goes further and says, "She's such an airhead she's so caught up in herself that she doesn't care for anyone else." I blew my lid at that comment. I turned around and said, "How dare you? Judging someone you obviously don't know at all! Robin is one of the most loving, caring, supportive individual in this entire state, and I would argue country, sometimes the world doesn't revolve around you honey and people have other issues going on in that moment, some times people have other things to do than to serve you. I don't know who the **** you think you are but I know one thing you better shut your ****ing mouth you dumb skank."

I stormed out of the class in a fury, my heart pounding, my face red. Breathing fast and shaking.

With my T, my family had been trying to get me to switch T's. After I OD'd they all blamed my T for it, saying she should have stopped me, or if she was competent or any good at her job I'd never have done that, I flipped my lid then too and cursed both my Mother and grandmother out for calling my T names, and for being cruel and ignorant. I went into another fury.

Does anyone else get like this?

No I don't. Actually I don't get this way about anyone in my life, but certainly not a therapist. I don't usually care what others think of people I like or dislike. It is personal to me and the responses of others belong to them. I might, in certain circumstances, offer that I feel otherwise about the person, or offer my different perspective, but I can't imagine me doing more than that or caring much if someone else did not like the therapist I see.

I turned around and said, "How dare you? Judging someone you obviously don't know at all! Robin is one of the most loving, caring, supportive individual in this entire state, and I would argue country, sometimes the world doesn't revolve around you honey and people have other issues going on in that moment, some times people have other things to do than to serve you. I don't know who the **** you think you are but I know one thing you better shut your ****ing mouth you dumb skank."

No one else is entitled to their opinions or experiences? Frankly, if you responded as you've stated, it seems you're the one being judgemental and inappropriate.

My response wasn't the most mature, but if my rant was inappropriate and offensive cause it insulted someone, well then I guess there's was too then huh? Since they insulted someone else as well. I never said my reaction was fitted to the situation, or that I was right. I merely stated that I get a tad bit protective and defensive of the people I care about. Mostly cause i somehow feel that a 'threat' against them is a threat against me, perhaps. I never had anyone growing up....well anyone caring.

Personally I'd be wondering why so many people have a problem with this Robin? Could there be something that you're not seeing?

You stated that you two have a "special" RS which obviously others don't. Wouldn't you feel hurt if your C forgot the basic details about you? I would. In the other case, Ss can state their opinions re this Robin as their teacher- not very insulting one, BTW.
I understand that you were triggered (and I don't use this word lightly but given how inappropriate your reply was, I'd say you were) but you really shouldn't go around treating other ppl like that. You can still "protect" your C or T but do it so other ppl won't get hurt.

Sometimes, when we rush in to defend(aka 'rescue') others. Consequences, can be drastic, and suddenly, we find ourselves viewed as the 'bad guy', and ostracized, albeit having had the most honest of intentions.

May be, something, to work on, in future.

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I totally got this. I heard that you were observing how intense your reactions are, and wondered about it. That's what it felt like to me. One of my good friends blows up sometimes. I know that it means something in her was triggered. Usually takes a day or two before we get to the bottom of it, but she notices her reactions, and then when she's ready, she talks with me. Just as you said, you heard them talking against her and it felt like it was threatening you. That's a good observation. I think describing your reaction helped me understand better what you were talking about.

I bet it feels wonderful to have someone you feel can trust so much. Is that it?

I also heard that you weren't intending to talk about C or T or your response when posting; you wanted to know if others felt this protective of their Ts - if it was normal to feel so protective. Is that it?

I think it's not uncommon. I've been in a similar situation, and I was protective of T. And it hurt to hear other people not see how wonderful she was, even when I knew there was some validity to the situation.

I imagine it must have hurt very much to hear them say such negative things about her when it totally wasn't your experience. Is that it?

As someone else already posted, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Some people will like a teacher and some won't; that's just the way it is.

That aside, being a counselor-- and teaching a class on counseling-- are two entirely different skill sets. Knowing the subject matter is not enough to make a good teacher. Teaching is another skill entirely. Trust me; I've had to learn it. 9 years of college and grad school taught me the subject matter; it did not necessarily prepare me to be a good teacher. That I had to learn through observation, workshops, and a little of good 'ole trial and error.

I'm also a little surprised that it seems you have a dual relationship with Robin? She is both your teacher and your counselor? I don't know anything about the program you are in but, at my University, that would not be allowed. It's considered a conflict of interest. Perhaps, given your strong reactions and inability to control them, the dual relationship with Robin may be a conflict of interest for you as well. Sometimes, we simply don't want to hear negative things about our counselor or therapist. If that is the case, it would be best if they were ONLY our counselor and we did not have to see them in the classroom, where it's "fair game" for others to express their opinions as well.

Yes this is it exactly! Thank you!
I'm glad someone is listening to me.

ALSO
Robin is no longer my teacher she hasn't been for a year and a half. In my college it is unavoidable, we were in a different class and they were talking about it cause they were taking her class.