[someone321]

I have just started my first therapy (yesterday I had the 4th session) and I feel weird. My T is ok, I've already told him more than anyone else but yesterday I started telling him "my story" from the childhood and at the end of the session, he said that he was feeling sick when I was talking about it (and I even skipped all details). In theory I know that it was not me who made him feeling sick but this what happened to me; however, I have the feeling that I was involved in "my story" so actually I made him feel sick... I don't know, I don't like the word "sick", he could have said that he felt sorry for me or whatever...

Do your Ts say that the feel sick when you talk about something? I still have not finished my story, so now I don't know if I should continue, stop, talk about this what he said..? I would not change the T but I don't want to make him feeling sick...

PS. Sorry for my English - I'm not the native

[Leah123]

I would ask him the question you posted here and give him your feedback: "In theory I know that it was not me who made him feeling sick but this what happened to me; however, I have the feeling that I was involved in "my story" so actually I made him feel sick... I don't know, I don't like the word "sick", he could have said that he felt sorry for me or whatever...

I still have not finished my story, so now I don't know if I should continue, stop, talk about this what he said..? I would not change the T but I don't want to make him feeling sick..."

I might have a similar reaction if my therapist had said that, I think it's worth bringing up so he can reassure you he can handle the disclosure and better explain what he meant. My T hasn't used that word exactly, but she's said disgusted and horrific, and things like that.

Good luck!

[anilam]

Sick is a VERY bad choice of wording how he felt about your story (BTW kudos for sharing on your 4th session- takes guts to be that open with a virtual stranger). Did he really say sick? Just wondering given that you're not a native E speaker I'd think that there's a chance the convo was in you mother tongue and thus this would be a translation so at least some meaning could be lost (connotation-wise)?
Back to your original question: No, my T didn't share with me how "my story" made him feel. I was all about me.

[someone321]

Thanks Leah123, probably you're right and I should bring it to my next session but that means that I would have to "confront" with him and what if he agrees that it makes him sick so maybe I should look for someone else?

Anilam: I have my therapy in English (actually I think that it might be easier to talk about the trauma in English than in mother tongue) and unfortunately I have a very good memory, he said "when you were talking about it I was feeling sick"...

[Nerak67]

I think he was probably empathizing and saying that he few really badly for what happened to you. Sick was a poor choice of words. I would mention it so he can clarify and reassure you that he doesn't think I'll of you.

[BlessedRhiannon]

My T has never said that what I'm telling her made her feel sick, but she's said that some of the things I've shared with her have made her feel angry. She once told me that a fond memory I had of my childhood was heartbreaking. That was very hard to hear, because it made me re-think that memory and for a while, it wasn't a happy memory for me anymore. I had to remember that we all experience things differently and that from the outside, that memory could easily be heartbreaking, but for me it was something special.

I think the best thing to do would be to just bring it up with your T. You could maybe say something like - "I found it very upsetting when I was telling you my story last time and you said that it made you feel sick. Could you help me understand your comment a little better?" It doesn't have to be a confrontation. You can approach it by just stating how his comment made you feel and wanting to explore that.

[Leah123]

Originally Posted by someone321

Thanks Leah123, probably you're right and I should bring it to my next session but that means that I would have to "confront" with him and what if he agrees that it makes him sick so maybe I should look for someone else?

Anilam: I have my therapy in English (actually I think that it might be easier to talk about the trauma in English than in mother tongue) and unfortunately I have a very good memory, he said "when you were talking about it I was feeling sick"...

I can understand that fear, but I believe it's extremely unlikely that he meant it in the most negative way that you're taking it. I believe he was more likely trying to show you some compassion and empathy and maybe he could have used a better word! I know these things can be painful to discuss. I do hope everything goes well for you when you talk to him next!!!

[someone321]

Thanks for all responses... I followed your advices and I brought it up today (as I've started telling my story, we agreed to meet now twice per week so that I could finish some parts before the loooong Christmas break).

And hmmm... He said that he actually had said exactly what he had meant: he was feeling sick and he had nausea when I was talking about my past. When I was talking, he was imaging it and of course he is not the robot and he also has some feelings... He said that I do not have to worry about it as he is trained to deal with it and that's actually the reason why I pay him...

So hmmmm... I have some mixed feelings about it, he confirmed that I had made him feeling sick (I asked about it) and he did not say anything like that he felt sorry for me or whatever. He only said that what happened to me is similar (for him) to the story or prisoners in Guantanamo so that's why he felt sick...