I REALLY cried, for the first time ever in T

I have a close relationship to my T. We've been working together for 3.5 years and seeing each other twice per week. We've been through an inpatient hospitalization, hours and hours of trauma work, continuous stressors in my professional life, an empty social life, anniversaries of my big sister's death, not to mention more mood swings than can be counted and failed med changes for my bipolar and ADHD. BUT I could never shed more than a few tears in therapy. And this was the case with my previous therapists, too. Then today it happened. I was struggling while we were working on tough stuff, she asked me if I wanted her to sit next to me as we sometimes do and I said yes (she checked twice to be sure), and then once she sat next to me, I just put my head on her and started to cry. And really cry. Loud, sobs, trouble catching my breath, etc. We stayed like this for about 5 minutes. And I probably could have cried more. But it was a breakthrough for me to allow myself to really feel sadness and let it out - I thought it would never happen. I'm just so glad that this happened, finally, as it's been strange and frustrating not to be able to cry like this (or really at all) in therapy or really on my own. I so rarely cry for stuff about me - for a sad episode of Law and Order SVU, yes, but when it's about me the tears don't come... Just wanted to share with people who get it. Thanks for listening.

So glad you got that breakthrough and that your T was there to support you

That sounds so comforting. It's something I often wish could happen with my T. Congratulations on allowing yourself to open up so much with your T

I wish I could do this more often. I'm glad you had this moment! It can be a relief and a big comfort to have someone just "be there".

thats wonderful! it took us close to 10 years for this to happen but once it did it was like you said almost a relief very happy for you!

Wow, each of you knew just what to write to me. Thank you! I thanked my T at the end of our appt for "being there." I did open up and allow her to support me when I was in a vulnerable place. And it was a relief bc part of me was beginning to think that I was made of stone since I never cried, and it was darn frustrating! Thank you all again for your support!