[growlithing]

Hi guys. So I have to go back to my parents' house this Friday for three weeks... yeah. Three weeks of constantly being with my abusers. I've been slowly freaking out about this. I've been emailing my T about once a day for three days now and that makes me feel bad. I shouldn't be wasting her time like this.

Last night, I got so upset thinking about this and thinking about the new memories that have been surfacing and I ended up taking a little more meds than is prescribed to me. I just wanted to forget about it all/not think about anything for a while. So naturally, I ended up emailing my T while intoxicated. Yikes. She called me as soon as she opened the email because she wanted to make sure I'm okay. I don't think she is upset with me as much as upset for me.

So throughout this break, I'm supposed to stay in contact with her through email and scheduled sessions over the phone. How much contact is too much contact? I know that emailing her last night under those conditions was a stupid idea. But I asked her about how much contact is appropriate, and she said that she trusts my judgement and I should figure that out on my own. Ugh. Does that mean once every few days? Once a day? What? Why won't she just tell me?

[Daeva]

I think it's according to how much you need to contact her, with the situation you're in I don't think she'd be surprised if you contacted her every day. Even if you kept a day to day journal through email to her of what happened that day. or maybe every few days. If she thought there'd be a chance of too much contact she'd have told you how many times, but she said, she trust your judgment, so to me it sounds like if you need her to contact her.

I am so sorry you're in this situation, I can't imagine how stressful and anxious this is making you. I wish you had another alternative.

[elaygee]

I believe she won't tell you because I don't know that there is "too much". She can read emails at her leisure, she can choose to respond or not. She has power here too. I mean I'd try not to just send her 18 emails a day with tiny snippets. But there's been times I emailed my T 3x in a day, because I started an overall summary email. Then something happened mid-day. Then I had a hard time at nighttime (typical for me).
But my T and I have always used electronic communication frequently. I just have to know it may take her a while to respond.

[Yogix]

I agree with the comments above. Maybe you can email her once every two days if that makes you feel better? And then maybe progress to once every three? But it does sound like you could use the support so once a day is okay, but it does seem you are a bit apprehensive.

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[A Red Panda]

It's up to you really! For me, I would probably email once a day (if I had something rotten go on.. which is common when I'm at my family's) to blurt out all the freak outs I was having. I likely wouldn't want/expect replies - as it is when I email my T I tend to put somewhere in the email "DON'T REPLY!".

[granite1]

I think my T would have told me that if going to my parents was causing me so much pain and anxiety that it be best I not go .in fact the last time I went she was visibly upset that I did not tell the mother no. we worked on that some and it is a bit easier for me to say no im not coming . she has been very supportive of that. but I would ask your t how much is to much

[growlithing]

Originally Posted by granite1

I think my T would have told me that if going to my parents was causing me so much pain and anxiety that it be best I not go .in fact the last time I went she was visibly upset that I did not tell the mother no. we worked on that some and it is a bit easier for me to say no im not coming . she has been very supportive of that. but I would ask your t how much is to much

We looked for every possible way for me to not go. We tried to bargain with my mother. The problem is that if I don't go, my mom will stop paying for my school, rent, and treatment. I have no credit score and can't take out a loan and there is no way I could just suddenly support myself at all. So my options are to either live with my highly abusive parents for three weeks or be homeless, unable to feed myself.

T said she trusts my judgement. I'll try to ask her again.

[granite1]

oh I didn't realize you were still dependent on them. im sorry that's hard