Hate this!!!

Just kind of a vent to people that will understand.

I had an end of year review with my manager today. I was really freaking out before hand, because it's a new manager, and I really had no clue what she was going to say. If it was a bad enough review, I was fully prepared to just walk out. Anyway, I texted my T prior to the review, asking if she could talk after it was done, as I was sure I'd need to. She texted back that she was free late this afternoon and would call me.

So, two hours after my review, I start to feel foolish for freaking out. It didn't go as badly as I thought it would. I feel guilty for bothering T and asking her to call me on her last day before her vacation for the holidays. I sent T a text telling her nevermind, I'm fine, and don't need to talk. T texted back and asked if I was sure. I couldn't answer that...I just replied that I'm feeling embarrassed about freaking out. T texted back and said she would still call me at the planned time unless I can tell her that I'm asking her not to from my wise mind. I can't tell her that...so I guess we're going to talk.

I kind of felt relief that she's not letting me hide and that she's still going to call me. At the same time, I really don't have much to talk about, except for the fact that I freaked out so badly this morning and then tried to completely retreat in embarrassment. I hate this!!!!!!

Oh yeah, I understand... I hate that feeling too, at one point I feel that I really need a support/help and afterwards I feel much better so I am only embarrassed by being so needy...

I think that it is great that your T said that she would still call you unless you tell her not to

You reached out when you needed to and that's the main thing. That is healthy. The fact that the "freak-out" has passed doesn't matter. It will be good to connect with your T before her break for the holidays, don't worry you did the right thing!