[Hope-Full]

Is it just me, or does this "ugh" feeling get worse at night? Last night was the worst night I've had in a while. Couldn't sleep, couldn't stop thinking about how badly I needed to talk to T, yet, couldn't for the life of me think of what I'd say to T, or what I needed T to tell me. All I could think about was how I felt like I was drowning and couldn't breathe and I needed T to help me. I seriously didn't think I'd wake up this morning, I was that sure the agony I was in would drown me.

This morning, I woke up and all was somewhat normal, as if last night wasn't nearly as hard as it was. Is it just me, or does this mental angst, and desire for connection to T get more intolerable at night?

Originally Posted by Hope-Full

Is it just me, or does this mental angst, and desire for connection to T get more intolerable at night?

I don't think it's uncommon.

Do you think you have trouble self-soothing? Object constancy can take time to develop. Have you been seeing your T for very long?

yes it is definitely worse,much worse for us at night.

[Jordy]

same here! I'm doing much worse at night... I guess mainly because that's when I feel threatened. And the loneliness make sit worse.

[archipelago]

I've had a recent episode of seasonal depression so I tend to wake up okay but toward the second half of the afternoon as the sun is setting and it starts getting dark I feel worse. I've taken to just giving in and going to bed right after dinner. For me though I know it is temporary. The meds will kick in or the episode will run its course so I'm just trying not to be impatient which is difficult. At least I'm between school terms so I don't have to be on top of anything right now.

Defintely the same here! I am great during the day usually. Work as an administrator keeps me extremely busy and i have alot of other people to take care of. Before work and after work though are tougher. Especially late nights, such as weekends-- definitely harder.

[Nightlight]

I can fake my way through every day, but my real feelings often catch up with me at night.

[elaygee]

Night is brutal for me/us. I feel so disconnected. I feel alone cause everyone is asleep. Night is also "scary" to me.

Couldn't sleep, couldn't stop thinking about how badly I needed to talk to T, yet, couldn't for the life of me think of what I'd say to T, or what I needed T to tell me.

What helped me with this was keeping a picture of T in my nightstand and listening to some of his voice mails I had saved. It doesn't take everything away, but it does help.

[Hope-Full]

Do you think you have trouble self-soothing? Object constancy can take time to develop. Have you been seeing your T for very long?

I have been seeing T for over three years, but have zero object constancy and struggle to self soothe, for sure. Working on the self-soothing with my DBT-T, and object constancy? I wish....

What helped me with this was keeping a picture of T in my nightstand and listening to some of his voice mails I had saved. It doesn't take everything away, but it does help.

I do have a picture of T on my phone, and can call Ts voicemail to listen to the message whenever I need (which I do quite often these days, and don't leave a message, per an agreement I have with T) Even that doesn't always help when I'm in the place of drowning.

I'm glad to hear I'm not alone in this, but also sorry that so many experience similar situations! I often wonder if nights would be as bad if I had someone to come home to, someone to say goodnight to, and to cuddle in with if needed. I do have a dog, but he isn't the same as having a husband, I suppose....

...when I'm in the place of drowning.

Sorry you are feeling like this. It takes time, too much time it seems. Yes, it is comforting having a significant other in your life. I know what you mean. I hope that changes for you someday soon.

[purplemystery]

I know what you mean about the nights being the hardest. You don't have much activity going on, you're usually alone, and if you're trying to go to sleep, the only thing you have to occupy yourself is your thoughts. I'm sorry you're going through this.

[purplejell]

I can totally identify with this... especially after therapy, I feel the pain in my sleep. I have trouble sleeping. My T is away right now and I have such vivid dreams about her, and nightmares about her. I think it's easier in the daytime when you're distracted. At night things come out more from your subconscious.

[Hope-Full]

I think it's easier in the daytime when you're distracted. At night things come out more from your subconscious.

Interesting thought here.... which, since I'm on break from school right now, could explain why days have been nearly as bad as nights lately - no distractions. Nights and days are blurring right now, equally challenging.

Misery, depression, darkness, sadness- whatever you want to call it, is all encompassing and completely sucks the life out of you. I want to do nothing but sit in Ts office, even if T weren't there, sitting in the office would make me feel better. Unfortunately, that ain't happening. And here I wait, for what is going to feel like a lifetime, till I see T again.