Is it wrong to play the victim? What does that even mean?

This is excellent. Most, if not all, of us here truly have been the victim of someone else's cruelty, abuse, etc. just coming to the place of admitting to ourselves that we actually were victimized is a painful step for most of us.

The problem comes when we continue to believe and behave as if we are still powerless, helpless, have no control, have no choices, etc. in our lives. That is a kind of learned helplessness or internalizing of the victim role that keeps us frozen, stuck, immobile.

My T has many times reminded me that nothing that abusive is actually happening to me now. If someone tried to hurt me now, I'd fight back. I'm not the powerless child I was back then. I have choices, options, skills, control, knowledge now as the adult I am.

It is hard to stop believing we are still in the midst of being victimized and emerge on the other side. No one with any understanding of abuse, including our T's, believes this an easy process to accomplish, but they do have to remind us and work with us to sort reprogram our image/beliefs about ourselves if our lives are going to improve.

Perhaps you don't like the phrase "playing the victim", but try to rephrase it in your mind to something like "I'm acting/believing/thinking as if I am still being victimized" and perhaps that will feel clearer in meaning -- less negatively loaded. I'd also talk to your T directly about the use of that phrase if it is triggering for you. I'm sure you can arrive at an alternative.

Well, the topic reminded me of when people have said that to me in the past and that made me angry, but that isn't your fault and it's not even a bad thing. It was refreshing for me to express my opinion on this topic. Accessing some internal anger isn't actually a bad thing in my mind. So I wasn't hurt by this topic, but let's pretend that somehow I was. There was no way you could have predicted that a topic as innocent as this one would upset anyone. You can't be held responsible for everyone else's triggers because honestly, doing that would be ridiculous. I mean, one of my biggest triggers is footsteps. I can't be upset or offended with people just for walking and I also can't expect people to shout "TRIGGER WARNING" before their heel hits the ground. (Actually that would be even more upsetting yet really funny to picture)

I'm not saying that life is triggering and therefore we on this site shouldn't bother with trigger labels. If this post were about something graphic or something conventionally triggering, then yeah you should warn people. I'm just saying that you can't blame yourself for bringing up an innocent topic and someone happens to get offended. That's on that person for projecting their issues onto the situation. I don't believe people have a right to not be offended anyway.

Anyway, I think you should ask your T for clarification. I would.

My mom definitely "plays the victim" and has a matyr complex...She'll even flat-out lie about things I've done or said to portray herself as a victim to others.

While I totally agree with this, I think there's also the possibility that some use this idea in a self-negating way. I think acknowledging and accepting past (or current) victimization is a first step to healing that wound, as opposed to running away from it or denying it, or projecting fears of helplessness onto other people. I've never seen "playing the victim" as an enactment of actual victimization; rather as a tool of self-punishment that externalizes a feeling in a way that manipulates situations and people. It is a sort of defense, but one that often incites more opposition from others. And, of course, it keeps one stuck because nothing unrecognized can be changed.