I saw T about 3 weeks ago, and the session didn't go really well. I left angry and frustrated. It was one of those sessions where T and I were at odds and locking horns. So I was apprehensive about today's session. Rationally I knew it would be fine; we rarely have those kinds of sessions, but I was still a bit worried about what was going to transpire today.

And of course, it was fine. Very helpful actually.

He started, as usual, checking my barometer so to speak. I haven't slept in two days and I've been off my food for over a week. Immediately he told me to call my pdoc, which I have done. He just called back and prescribed something for sleep. He needs me sleeping before I become manic. Hopefully that will get this under control.

He then brought up our last session. He asked what was going on with me that day, and I said I was overwhelmingly agitated. He agreed with that, saying I walked into his office agitated. He said in retrospect, based on how I'm doing now, he should have realized I was in a mixed state, heavy on the manic side. He apologized for missing it, but I so rarely present as manic that he just didn't see it for what it was.

We spent most of today's session discussing managing my bipolar symptoms. He believes I have been pushing myself so hard for several months with band, chorus, and holidays that I've wound up in this mixed state. My MO, he says, is to push myself beyond my reserves which inevitably drives me into a depressive (usually) or manic (occasionally) episode. T said it is vital I find a way to balance my life and prioritize my health over all else. That's not easy for me as I always put my obligations to kids, work, church, chorus first and fail to check in with myself. I need to flip that around.

None of this is new, but it was time to revisit the facts. It was helpful to put things into perspective. In the end, we apologized to each other for being so out of sync last session. He sat next to me and held my hand for a bit while we talked and gave me a big hug before I left. That was nice and reassuring to me. Very unusual for him to be physically demonstrative, but it was entirely warranted and appropriate in the context of the session as a whole.

Good work with your t, he sounds very attuned to you Chris. I like the way he admitted he had missed seeing you in a manic state, which if you are not usually in that state going to therapy it would be ok to miss it but since he is trained to notice things like that it was admiral for him to admit the mistake.
it sounds like you are acutely aware of what is going on and how the stress of everything got you into that state, do you think now, knowing this that you will be able to prevent it in the future?

Maybe, maybe not. I know I can lessen the severity of an episode by being proactive, but complete prevention? Probably not.

Chris your T sounds like he is very helpful and considerate of your feelings.

Originally Posted by Readytostop

Chris your T sounds like he is very helpful and considerate of your feelings.

He is. Not that we don't have our moments like that last session. We're both very stubborn and when we both get in that mood at the same time it isn't pretty. We're not afraid to be blatantly honest with each other though, so we just take those moments for what they are and move on.

I like your t, I wonder is he planning to move to Ireland

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

I like your t, I wonder is he planning to move to Ireland

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hah! No way! He's a good one though.

Ugh. My husband had a meeting tonight and was supposed to pick up the sleep meds on his way home. He forgot, and by the time it crossed our minds, the pharmacy was closed. I also did something to my back and am in a lot of pain. It's going to be another sleepless night.

Frustration speaking here! I took my sleep med and slept for about an hour. I woke up, am nascious which I'm pretty certain is from the med, and I'm wide awake.

I suspect this will turn into another sleepless night. These one hour catnaps once or twice a day are not going to cut it. This could go very badly for me. My hope is that getting back to work on Monday will wear me out so sleep will finally come.

The nausea issues I keep having with new meds is frustrating me too. I've never had this problem, and I'm beginning to think something else is going on there. I'm overdue for my annual well exam with my GP, and my pdoc gave me a list of blood work he wants the GP to have done (and he keeps nagging me to have done). So, I probably need to get off my butt make that appointment. That's one of those issues my T says should be a priority.