Is the purpose of therapy to learn to be distracted from bad feelings?

if your desire is to find meaningful relationships maybe a different type of therapy would help if what you are currently experiencing isn't working. maybe something like psychodynamic, family systems or object relations--all therapies that are very relationally-focused and could help you unravel your relationship history and patterns and how that is impacting you presently.

i don't think pretending to be content works. is your T maybe saying to accept certain things instead? that is different from pretending to be content. i may not like a particular situation, but if i accept it then i can either change it, or if that isn't possible, then learn to live with it and come to a place of peace with it. if, say, you are really lonely it is ok to acknowledge that and feel those feelings of loneliness. the trick is not to get stuck there though. we do have to do something if we want the situation to change when it is possible. we step out of our comfort zone and push ourselves to do things that are difficult, but i don't think we have to tell ourselves we are enjoying those things when we aren't. also, those things aren't distractions but they are the medicine for what ails us. it's medicine, and what i need, but i'm not going to tell myself that bitter tasting medicine tastes like a frappachino.

now, say someone has just lost a spouse. they can't change that as the person is gone but they need to grieve that loss. once they have grieved the loss, which will take time, they will come to a place of peace about it.

in both cases we have to feel our feelings and then either take action to change things or accept the situation. we don't have to like either changing things or accepting things though. funny, this all reminds me of the serenity prayer. also, in the 12-steps the first step is admitting we have a problem. we can't really deal with something until we acknowledge its existence. pretending, or denial, is part of the problem--not the solution. hope something i said makes sense.