[Hoppery]

Okay as most of you know I am seeing A. for support for ADHD to keep check over my meds, blood pressure and weight. I'm also seeing him for some therapy to deal with some issues. He told me that I can email him to share my thoughts and he's happy for me to do that. The thing is though, I don't want to email him too much because it's not actually in his role to do therapy. The NHS wants him to just do the med, blood pressure and weight checks. Nothing more. But he said he feels like I need more so he is doing what he thinks I need, not what the NHS want him to do. So, what is a good healthy amount of emails per week that won't make me a burden to him? I mean he is very kind for doing more then he is paid for. Least I can do is not bother him too much.

[A Red Panda]

I don't typically email my T more than once a week - and most weeks I don't. I email if something came up and I want to show him a more authentic emotional response along with my in-the-moment thought process. I think that is useful for him because I'm never in the middle of being upset when in session.

Sometimes I'll email with a list of things that I know I should share but keep finding it too difficult to say - or I forget about it.

In my opinion the only way to get the correct answer to your question is to pose the question to him directly. Comfort levels vary for each individual. Good luck to you.

It doesn't sound like this is actually therapist. I'd probably be hesitant if that is the case.

[Hoppery]

Originally Posted by 1914sierra

It doesn't sound like this is actually therapist. I'd probably be hesitant if that is the case.

He's a mental health nurse specialist who is doing more for me then his job requires him to do. He's doing it because he feels the NHS approach of what his job 'should be' isn't going to benefit me. He said he has helped at least one patient this way in the past. He seems to have good knowledge of what to do. His job is basically doing what my Pdoc did. Except with him being a nurse, he's more caring and patient centered.

Is he the only person you have that is in any way serving as your therapist? If you have a separate therapist, I'd still defer to the therapist or at least make sure they work together to some extent (just touch base with each other). If he is the only one, that's probably okay.

[Hoppery]

Originally Posted by 1914sierra

Is he the only person you have that is in any way serving as your therapist? If you have a separate therapist, I'd still defer to the therapist or at least make sure they work together to some extent (just touch base with each other). If he is the only one, that's probably okay.

He's the only one. I've only had 2 appointments with him but he already 'gets me'. He is a much better fit for me then any of my pdocs ever were. I just don't want to take advantage of his kindness as I'm lucky I have him.

No one here could pre judge what would be to much for you or him. It's best to talk about it with him.

[Hoppery]

Okay well I uh.. Told him in email that I'm going to aim to email him once per week only if I need too unless I am replying to something he sent me, to avoid over stepping an invisible line. And to make it so I don't burden him too much.

I try to avoid it all together. I'm too critical of my own emails, and don't always like the responses I get from T. Plus all the emotional turmoil of waiting for a reply makes it not worth whatever temporary comfort I get from T. Worse yet, I still check my email a little too often just in case T happens to send me an email which is highly unlikely, and I always feel a tinge of disappointment when there's nothing there. The boundaries of a weekly session are suiting me fine

That said, no judgement about anyone else's boundaries, email or otherwise. Back to the original question, I would not send more than 1 or 2 in a week, and would not expect any type of lengthy reply. T's need personal time too, and emails create work regardless of how they feel about us.

[Hoppery]

Yeah, I wait and check emails all day too. But only because at the minute I have nothing to do! If I had something to do, I wouldn't be bothered about waiting. I don't expect a lengthy reply and quite glad that I don't get one! In fact, I expect no reply at all. I'm going to do one email, per week. Only if I need it because I find it too hard to say it to him. Although he has realised this which is great. He has lots of other people to deal with other then me. And I realise he has a life outside of work too. If I ever felt a burden to him, I would force myself to email him one email per 2 weeks for a while. I'm SUPER strict with myself like that probably to avoid him wanting to abandon me

Actually, after next week. I will change it to one email per 2 weeks. To make sure he won't abandon me.

Originally Posted by Clementine K

I try to avoid it all together. I'm too critical of my own emails, and don't always like the responses I get from T. Plus all the emotional turmoil of waiting for a reply makes it not worth whatever temporary comfort I get from T. Worse yet, I still check my email a little too often just in case T happens to send me an email which is highly unlikely, and I always feel a tinge of disappointment when there's nothing there. The boundaries of a weekly session are suiting me fine

That said, no judgement about anyone else's boundaries, email or otherwise. Back to the original question, I would not send more than 1 or 2 in a week, and would not expect any type of lengthy reply. T's need personal time too, and emails create work regardless of how they feel about us.

Originally Posted by Hoppery

He's a mental health nurse specialist who is doing more for me then his job requires him to do. He's doing it because he feels the NHS approach of what his job 'should be' isn't going to benefit me. He said he has helped at least one patient this way in the past. He seems to have good knowledge of what to do. His job is basically doing what my Pdoc did. Except with him being a nurse, he's more caring and patient centered.

Is he a CPN? (community psychiatric nurse)

[Hoppery]

Originally Posted by Mittens.

Is he a CPN? (community psychiatric nurse)

Err, He's a mental health nurse specialist working in an outpatient ADHD clinic. So possibly is the above. I am not knowledgeable into terms of doctors and people like that.

Yeah he sounds more like a CPN, I find mine really helpful and I call her if I have any problems.

You can have a look at this link it will tell you about the roles of the mental health teams and what they do, I hope this helps.
Mental Health Services & Teams in the Community

[Hoppery]

Oh wow, this looks to be very useful. Thank you very much
I kind of figured out he worked with a team cause he discussed something with them to get advice from them. He told me so. He tries to be honest with me as I do with him. He said it's a 2 way street.

Originally Posted by Mittens.

Yeah he sounds more like a CPN, I find mine really helpful and I call her if I have any problems.

You can have a look at this link it will tell you about the roles of the mental health teams and what they do, I hope this helps.
Mental Health Services & Teams in the Community