Last week I was at my lowest, just did not want to be here or anywhere- did not want to live any more or didn't have any will to live.
T has seen me like this before and been great but this last week was different. She was dismissive, distant, distracted and to be honest did not want to be there with me.
I was telling her about my current situation with my abusive ex being back at work and it was taking all of my strength to hold myself together in front of her and t just changes the subject completely. She just dismissed what I said and changed the subject to what she wants to talk about which has been my counselling course. She has been leading my sessions in this direction for a very long time now and I am beyond frustrated. The correct thing to do would be to leave and find a new t but the thoughts of starting all over again is daunting.
We are thought in our course to be assertive and ask for what I want but I am conflicted with t because if I confront her and ask her not to do this she will be discussing topics she does not want to talk about and I know she will be fake and not real or caring about me.Any advice appreciated- thnks

Actually, the correct thing to do would be to discuss your frustrations with her and ask her to help you maintain focus on other aspects of your life than your coursework. Then, see how she addresses your concerns. Right now you are doing a lot of thinking for her. Maybe you are right, but until it comes out of the horses mouth, you are only assuming. If it goes badly or doesn't change following an open discussion with her, at that point, you can consider changing therapists with assurance/confidence that you did everything to communicate your needs and they weren't met.

Yes that's true Chris, I am also doing a lot of work for her and assuming on her part and it has to stop.
She practises cbt so I know it's about behaviour more than just sitting with the client.
This has been an issue with me for a while as you or some of you know, that I haven't been able to express my needs or concerns with t. I have an appt next Friday and was thinking of cancelling and not going back but I will still be left with all of these feelings. I think t has become more interested in my story than me and it's sad when it happens. She is too interested In people and names than how it made me feel.

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[Asiablue]

Another thing i picked up on is, why were you doing your best to hold yourself together in front of her? Isn't she the one person you should be letting it all out to?

[SeekerOfLife]

I have been through the same thing recently. The next time I see T. I plan on telling her how I was disappointed and angry with her. This may turn out to be a good experience for me, because I have always had trouble admitting it when I am angry.

[SoupDragon]

When l am struggling with darker thoughts or Sl, my T says talking about them / giving them attention can reinforce them. So l wonder if your T was wanting to focus on potentially more positive things in you life? However my T is encouraging me not to as assume things about people and to check things out, so l wonder if it is possible to raise it with your T?

[vans1974]

Sorry to hear! I agree with asiablue, in that your T is the one you should be able to show your true emotions to. I'd switch counselors if it was up to me. Best of luck!!

She could have been helping me to focus on the things that are going right as she does this at times but it really doesn't help me because those things mean nothing when I get that low. I didn't hold it together for her, I couldn't this time and was at my absolute worst!

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[SoupDragon]

Yes l understand that. Sometimes my head goes beyond being able to pull back ard focus on other things. It does always pass though, so hope it passes for you soon. Take care.

[Raging Quiet]

I'm also doing a counselling course; I wonder as we learn how the process works, we can see when a t says or does things they shouldn't? Maybe it's just true for me. Xx

[Rzay4]

Sorry to hear that I hope next time is better.

Originally Posted by Raging Quiet

I'm also doing a counselling course; I wonder as we learn how the process works, we can see when a t says or does things they shouldn't? Maybe it's just true for me. Xx

Really, I didn't know that How is it going for you?
I think we become more aware of what t is doing and why they are doing it and some times this distracts me from my real work, is that what it is like for you?
I also think because we are in training that t's seem to be tougher on us and maybe treat us more like a peer than a client.

[QUOTE=SoupDragon;3528014]Yes l understand that. Sometimes my head goes beyond being able to pull back ard focus on other things. It does always pass though, so hope it passes for you soon. Take care. [/QUOTE/]
Thanks Soup I hope it will pass too like it does for you \

Originally Posted by Rzay4

Sorry to hear that I hope next time is better.

Thanks Razza, I don't think it can get any worse.