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  #1  
Old Jan 26, 2014, 08:14 AM
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Mactastic Mactastic is offline
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My T asked me this a while back and I thought he was nuts. He asked me the day I finally disclosed my feelings for him, and I think he was trying to get to the root of my transference. At the time, he meant nothing to me, aside from the object of my fantasies (which I would never share.) I knew practically nothing about him. Now I think I'm starting to get it.

To me, he represents learning to accept kindness and patience from a man without feeling like I need to repay him or show him my gratitude with sex. He also represents my path towards learning to trust in the face of uncertainty. I know we will one day part ways but I don't know when or how I will handle it. Lastly, he is the only person in my 30+ years who stands a chance at really getting to know me. This is both terrifying and a relief, since of course the ultimate goal is to 'practice' with him, have a positive experience, and try again in the real world.

Does your therapist represent anything to you?

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  #2  
Old Jan 26, 2014, 08:43 AM
Anonymous200320
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The first and only person in my life who is completely on my side. Which doesn't mean that he agrees with all I say, or that he thinks I'm great. But I can trust that he will not do or say anything that is not in my best interest - to the best of his knowledge. He can make mistakes, of course.

Last edited by Anonymous200320; Jan 26, 2014 at 09:33 AM.
  #3  
Old Jan 26, 2014, 09:01 AM
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willowbrook willowbrook is offline
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I see my Pdoc sort of as an incredibly empathic steamroller, barreling over my issues with compassion and insight.
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Complex-PTSD, MDD with Psychotic Fx, Residual (Borderline) PD Aspects, ADD, GAD with Panic Disorder, Anorexia Nervosa currently in partial remission.

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Psychotherapy
Mindfulness


What does your therapist represent?
  #4  
Old Jan 26, 2014, 09:32 AM
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Open Eyes Open Eyes is offline
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My therapist really listens and validates, he is calm and doesn't "absorb or argue" with me. He is open minded and if I bring him an article or information that I come across, he will read it and we discuss it. He never treats me as though I am beneath him and he isn't condescending. When I am with him I feel he listens and "believes" me and that has been important to my healing. We also discuss the dysfunctional people around me in my life and he actually sees the way I have been unfairly treated and emotionally abused.

When I was overwhelmed with all the damage I had to address, I was so physically and mentally exhausted and in desperate need of grief counseling. What I kept begging for was rest and I had a picture in my mind of a quiet place near a beach with a presence there that I could talk to that would listen and help me sort out how to deal and grieve the magnitude of what was lost and what it really meant to me. Well, it took me 4 years to finally find the right T, before that I was misdiagnosed and misunderstood and even mistreated and invalidated.

I do not have any romantic feelings for my T at all. I just see him as a caring intelligent man that will listen, stay calm, and knows how to help me slowly work through years of psychological and emotional abuse.

OE
  #5  
Old Jan 26, 2014, 10:13 AM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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The first one - Grendel or Moby Di ck possibly.
The second one - admirably antiseptic and detached
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Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
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  #6  
Old Jan 26, 2014, 10:14 AM
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HazelGirl HazelGirl is offline
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My T is a safe place, moreso than anything I have ever had. She is somewhere I don't have to pretend or feel ashamed. She is someplace I can relax and stop hiding, really be me, and not have all the answers. She is a witness to the difficult things I have gone through, and shows compassion, empathy, and sorrow for me that I never got when I needed it. She is steady and secure in contrast to the chaos I grew up with. She is dependable, reliable, caring, and patient. She tries to show me that I am worth the positive care that she gives to me. She respects me and my right to make decisions, even if she disagrees or has a different opinion. She is what I need to get better.
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  #7  
Old Jan 26, 2014, 10:16 AM
Yearning0723 Yearning0723 is offline
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I guess I see my T as a "safe place" sort of, or a support system. Someone who will be there for you and support you and not judge you no matter what.
  #8  
Old Jan 26, 2014, 10:34 AM
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Perna Perna is offline
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The more balanced, centered Me I am striving for, like an inflatable clown punching bag
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
  #9  
Old Jan 26, 2014, 12:25 PM
brillskep brillskep is offline
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I think that's a great question.

My T represents a lot to me. Very nice wording, what does he represent, not what he means to me (which is what I'd be tempted to talk about more).

To me, my T represents a caring, loving, warm, empathetic, supportive, and solution-focused attitude. The type that will listen and try to negotiate and find a solution and work together, as opposed to just making a decision because he can or argue because he feels like it. Also, a natural, flowing understanding and use of knowledge - the kind when knowledge can enrich a relationship rather than try to make it match the theory. He also represents joy to me - his joy at simple things like good weather or a gift I bring him and my joy at being there together. Perhaps the most important, to me he represents positive thinking, the idea that you can find a positive and an inner resource in anything if you look in the right direction. I guess, growth and relationship - that's what all these different aspects are saying.
  #10  
Old Jan 26, 2014, 12:27 PM
Hoppery Hoppery is offline
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A. represents a light at the end of a tunnel. A safe place. Someone who won't judge.
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  #11  
Old Jan 26, 2014, 02:54 PM
Rzay4 Rzay4 is offline
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My newest T represents a safe and comforting place to share my inner most thoughts.
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Diagnosed with: Major Depression, Bipolar with Borderline traits, Grief/Anxiety, depersonalizations disorder, disassociating identity disorder, PTSD


Lost dear older bro
November 1987 to March 2005
My love for him will never stop
  #12  
Old Jan 26, 2014, 04:24 PM
renie1022 renie1022 is offline
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Location: Alton, NH
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My T is like my best possible mother mixed with my best possible me. "You are perfect and I am part of you"...This is a quote from a discussion of a type of transference by Kohut ( think). It is equated to the developmental period when a baby/child feels like they are still part of the mother (not yet a separate entity), and the child idealizes the mother. I hope I got that explanation right but it is the best description of how I feel
  #13  
Old Jan 26, 2014, 04:27 PM
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sweepy62 sweepy62 is offline
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My therapist is like my mentor, like my sidekick an allie.
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BPD

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