I'm always wondering if I'm saying something that sounds really boring, childish or self-indulgent when I reveal things to T. What about yourself?

How do you overcome these feelings and just learn to trust T completely?

[HazelGirl]

It takes a lot of courage and risk. You don't know. But you can look at how your T has responded in the past and hope and trust that she will respond in the same way in the future. Easier said than done, but that's how.

[AllyIsHopeful]

I agree with the "past reactions" idea.

My T never loses eye contact with me when I'm telling her something, no matter what it is, so I don't feel as if what I'm saying is boring or interesting...it is what it is, in the moment.
She's really intense with mirroring and I'm pretty expressive when I speak so sometimes it's silly watching some of my expressions being mirrored. It is comforting though because it seems she is really feeling what I'm saying.

Does your T react differently to different things you talk about, usually?

T is pretty consistent, but some of my thoughts are odd, and I feel that I am very immature in general so I sometimes feel like I'm making a fool of myself.

[AllyIsHopeful]

Aww I'm sure you are not making a fool of yourself. If anything I'm sure it is endearing!
Allow yourself to be vulnerable and your relationship will reach a whole new level.

[Freewilled]

Yes....especially since I don't know for sure if I really grasp the concept my T has pretty much told me that I can be vulnerable but I'm not sure I get it /:

I told T that I feel inferior to women today.

I wonder what she makes of that and whether she thinks I am being silly.

T has always told me not to censor myself, so I try to remember that she TOLD me to just say whatever is in my head, and that's what I'm doing. Nevertheless, I feel silly.

[HazelGirl]

I don't think she would think that. It's quite common to feel inferior to certain groups or types of people. I'm sure she just wants to know why and where that feeling comes from.

[A Red Panda]

I have a hard time being vulnerable, in any context. My T sees me more vulnerable than anyone else, because I don't put a halt to topics that are difficult for me. Which is what I would do in any other situation - I'd change the topic or somehow exit the conversation if it was getting too sensitive for me.

[stopdog]

I consider the act of walking into the woman's office a sign of vulnerability. The equivalent of rolling over and exposing your neck and belly.

I find it almost unbearably difficult sometimes. Partly because I cannot see him and have no idea what his reactions are to what I say.
At other times it's easier. But I haven't really found any pattern to when it's more or less hard.

[ListenMoreTalkLess]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I consider the act of walking into the woman's office a sign of vulnerability. The equivalent of rolling over and exposing your neck and belly.

Exactly. For me, this is why I show up consistently, it is like making a commitment to vulnerability. It also feels like exercise, the more I exercise my vulnerability, the more easily I can do it.

What's changed for me around this is not the way I see it, but it feels much more okay to be vulnerable and undefended (or less defended). Kind of freeing and safe in a paradoxical way.

[nummy]

That's a great question. My answer is, I didn't used to be, but I do hold back now. I havent had a good therapist I could trust in almost 20 years. I think I trusted her because she was trained to speak frankly.

[willowbrook]

It's hard to explain, but I differentiate between being vulnerable (ie trusting someone, talking openly about difficult subject), and appearing vulnerable (ie letting my symptoms show, letting emotions show). Since I began to totally trust my Pdoc I can 'be' vulnerable with him, but 'apppearing' vulnerable is something I'm still working on. Some sessions I can go in and really show as well as say what I'm feeling, other times I go in wearing my 'it's all okay' mask, even if I might be describing quite distressing symptoms. Thankfully he knows that, and doesn't discount my symptoms just because I'm being so detached and matter of fact about them.