[nottrustin]

As I have posted trust is a major obstacle for me. At some point I question everybody (in my mind) and whether I really can trust them or not. Sometimes still wonder about my husband and we have been married almost 20 years.

Recently though I have been wondering about T. We have had a great relationship. I have never questioned her professionalism. That being said lately I feel like she is pulling away. In sessions I feel like she is a little distant. She use to always respond to emails. I have tried to cut down on the emails as I know she works a lot and is in a new relationship. However, she frequently does not respond now even after days. If needed she use to squeeze me in for appointments even if it was past her office hows...Again she doesn't seem to be doing that anymore.

I don't know if I am "seeing" things that are not there due to my trust issues or not.

[Sabra]

Good morning,

It sounds like her personal life has gotten very busy with new relationship. She may be investing her energy and time with that new person. That's my guess. Please don't take it personally.

Regards,

sabra

[Leah123]

Trust gets so much stronger when I tell the person I'm having trust issues with about my concerns. I've really felt my relationship with my therapist and others deepen as I do the scary work of telling them I'm bothered by such changes or that I wonder if the way they see me has changed.

I hope you will mention what you wrote here to your therapist. You deserve a consistent experience and if there is indeed a reason she's chosen to change her process with you, it's important and only fair for you to understand why.

Good luck! While the possibility that she's drawing away from you for some unknown reason related to how she sees you might be true, it seems more than likely to me there are other reasons that you'll be relieved to hear, or that there may be some room for compromise/improved understanding to make things easier going forward.

[Fuzzybear]

[HazelGirl]

This sounds like something to bring up. She may not be aware she's doing it and may just be preoccupied by her new beau.

[anilam]

I'm pathologically distrustful too. However, I fail to see a trust connection here. Do you think she won't listen to you in your sessions and instead be thinking about her personal life? Or talk about you with her BF?

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by anilam

I'm pathologically distrustful too. However, I fail to see a trust connection here. Do you think she won't listen to you in your sessions and instead be thinking about her personal life? Or talk about you with her BF?

For me it is a trust issue because I have a hard time trusting what people say. As a young child I felt that what people told me and how they acted were so far apart.. Like I was always daddy's little girl and then he left my mom and us children. He went to live with a woman who had a child the same age is me. He never visited or had any contact with us.

[WePow]

I encourage you to actually ask T if she is intentionally pulling away. Let her know what you are sensing. You may be right about the pulling away. But the motive may be a theraputic tool. My T did this to me and I had to ask. He was doing it to give me more space to try to use my therapy tools to resolve issues on my own. It is called growing up the client.

I also learned that trust is something I had to first give myself. I had to learn how to trust my instincts in situations like this. I learned that not trusting others was perfectly fine. The fact is the world is a very inpredictable place full of people who change.
The only goal I have now is to build the trust I have with myself.
If I feel T pulling away, it serves me no good to sit around wondering if I am right or not. So I just ask. And that saves tons of pain and time!

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by WePow

I encourage you to actually ask T if she is intentionally pulling away. Let her know what you are sensing. You may be right about the pulling away. But the motive may be a theraputic tool. My T did this to me and I had to ask. He was doing it to give me more space to try to use my therapy tools to resolve issues on my own. It is called growing up the client.

I also learned that trust is something I had to first give myself. I had to learn how to trust my instincts in situations like this. I learned that not trusting others was perfectly fine. The fact is the world is a very inpredictable place full of people who change.
The only goal I have now is to build the trust I have with myself.
If I feel T pulling away, it serves me no good to sit around wondering if I am right or not. So I just ask. And that saves tons of pain and time!

Wow never thought of it in that way as trusting myself. I don't trust that I am "good enough" or that I will to much of a burden and people will leave. Along with that comes avoiding confrontations. I can't ask T as I don't know that I could handle the answer.

She did email me back a few times today

[WePow]

You are being honest about not knowing if you could take the answer. Honesty is great!
:-)