[RFS711]

I told my therapist about how I wanted to get her a Valentines Day gift (and decided not to) and I had the list of questions that I wanted to ask her. She told me her first impression of me and then I asked her what her favorite movie was and she didn't want to answer it.She smiled and said "Did you write a list of personal questions?" She said it wasn't that she wanted to keep things secret or anything, she just wanted the focus to be on me getting better and she didn't want any of her answers to cause me to sensor anything in the future. I'm pretty bummed out that she wouldn't answer the questions. I'll probably bring the list again next week.

[RTerroni]

I am thinking about doing this as well and my Therapist sort of encouraged me to do so.

[ImNotHere]

It is nice that you want to get to know her but I can understand where she is coming from too, she has to stay professional and make the sessions about you, not her. I did this a few times with my therapists (asked her some questions) and I started to realize I was just trying to distract/avoid working on my own issues and talking about myself, which is what therapy is for.

Do you know a lot about her already?

[RFS711]

Originally Posted by RTerroni

I am thinking about doing this as well and my Therapist sort of encouraged me to do so.

Give it a try, I'm going to try again next week.

[RFS711]

Originally Posted by ImNotHere

It is nice that you want to get to know her but I can understand where she is coming from too, she has to stay professional and make the sessions about you, not her. I did this a few times with my therapists (asked her some questions) and I started to realize I was just trying to distract/avoid working on my own issues and talking about myself, which is what therapy is for.

Do you know a lot about her already?

I've known her for over a year but I don't know a lot about her. She knows everything about me, I tell her everything and would/could never lie to her. I really want to know her better but I don't think she will let me. I'll definitely try again next week.

[Mactastic]

Personally, I would not try again. She's not going to answer you and she will probably "throw it back" and want to know why you're asking, maybe making session awkward for you both. Just my two cents.

I truly know where you're coming from, I really want to know more about my T but I know deep down it doesn't do anyone any good.

[RFS711]

Originally Posted by Mactastic

Personally, I would not try again. She's not going to answer you and she will probably "throw it back" and want to know why you're asking, maybe making session awkward for you both. Just my two cents.

I truly know where you're coming from, I really want to know more about my T but I know deep down it doesn't do anyone any good.

It's impossible for me to feel awkward around her . But I get what your saying and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable. She told me in the past that she would tell me if she ever felt uncomfortable. I want to bring the list again so this time I can ask every question instead of just the movie one and she can pick which ones to answer. For example, she told me whether or not she watches sports. She will probably throw it back again like this week but it's worth a try I guess.

[sewerrats]

Your therapist does not think the way you do its her job , she is not your best friend. You are building up a relationship in your head that does not exsist . Don't go down the path that may patients do, and yes your a patient nothing more or you will get hurt , She has thrown enough hints to you to back off personally, so get back on track or she may have to transfer you to another therapist .

[RFS711]

Originally Posted by sewerrats

Your therapist does not think the way you do its her job , she is not your best friend. You are building up a relationship in your head that does not exsist . Don't go down the path that may patients do, and yes your a patient nothing more or you will get hurt , She has thrown enough hints to you to back off personally, so get back on track or she may have to transfer you to another therapist .

I get what your saying but she knows more about me than my family and friends. So to me she is my best friend.

[nicoleflynn]

RFS: You have a right to all of your feelings!

[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by RFS711

Give it a try, I'm going to try again next week.

Hopefully I will, unless I don't get to it next week, there are several other things which I want to discuss before I get to it.

[feferock]

I must be weird. I used to get annoyed when in therapy and my t would tell me things about her life. I'd think in my head why are you telling me this. It's my session and you're taking my time. But that's just me

Fefe(28) -bipolar II
Hubby(28)
Son(8)-aspergers and possibly ADHD and odd
Daughter(5)

[nottrustin]

Instead of bringing a list of questions why not just start asking during conversations?? I know A LOT about T not because I asked list of questions but when we have to talked about things I would and it was appropriate to ask I did....

For instance she knew my daughter will be off to college next year and how stressful that is for me. I knew that she was a graduate of Boston College and my daughter was applying there. In telling her about the other colleges she was applying to, she mentioned on of the schools was a great school. She had gone there for a year but transferred. So I asked her why she changed if it was a great school...I also told her that I would understand if it was personal and didn't want to tell me. She told me she got married out of high school so went there for her first year..then her hubby decided he didn't want to be married so they got a divorce and she decided to leave the state and go to Boston.

[sewerrats]

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

RFS: You have a right to all of your feelings!

Ocourse but don't expect the same back.

I have a personal experience to share as far as knowing things about your t, a cautionary tale I guess. I never asked mine any personal questions - not that I wasn't curious, of course - but she always used to make it a point to say that this time was about me, etc. She would very rarely disclose something about herself and only if it related to what we were talking about. Here lately though, she has disclosed something every time we talk and especially this last appointment about 2 weeks ago, and it put me into a tailspin. What is she thinking?!! True, my sessions are less about therapy and more along the lines of life coaching or something now, but still.... I feel like she messed with my head and now I have all these transference-y feelings and I wonder if she did that on purpose so I would need therapy again and more frequent sessions. omg I have got to get out of this mess. I wish you all the best but want to say be cautious all the same with finding out too much stuff about t.