[ShaggyChic_1201]

My wonderful T did not take any appointments one afternoon and spent 2 hours driving and in court with me. Should I write her a check to pay for the 2 hours? We didn't discuss it beforehand and I don't want to assume it was a freebie.

Advice?

[Rapunzel]

I would ask her if she wants to be paid for the 2 hours. She may or may not want to be paid for that.

I would ask her about payment.

[Asiablue]

yeah i'd ask.

[Favorite Jeans]

I'd pay her.

[granite1]

I would offer to pay her and then she can decide weather to accept it or not.

[melania]

I didn't pay for two hours (it was just one time) because I noticed that we were talking for two hours when I was already outside. These two hours went so fast, that I thought we were talking for just one hour. I was almost shocked that he was so nice to me
I took it like a gift. Maybe I did wrong. But I don't have much money and he knows it.

[allme]

Yes I would offer to pay

[ShaggyChic_1201]

THANKS!!

[Vanes1982]

I would offer to pay, if she declines it, I ll bring a gift to thank her.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

I offered; she refused. We talked a bit about the trial and then I asked if she'd reconsider my offer. She refused again. I'm thinking about making a donation to a battered women's shelter in her name.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by ShaggyChic_1201

I offered; she refused. We talked a bit about the trial and then I asked if she'd reconsider my offer. She refused again. I'm thinking about making a donation to a battered women's shelter in her name.

She would probably like that. It was very kind of her to refuse.

Originally Posted by ShaggyChic_1201

I offered; she refused. We talked a bit about the trial and then I asked if she'd reconsider my offer. She refused again. I'm thinking about making a donation to a battered women's shelter in her name.

What a lovely, thoughtful thing to do. Thanks for sharing this with us.

[stopdog]

I actually think that if you want to give money to a charity - then great, but don't tie it to what the therapist did.
You offered and she declined. I think one should respect that and not try to come up with ways around it.

In general, I sort of find it disrespectful for people to not take no as an answer. I understand that is not the OP's intent here, just offering another perspective on this.

Originally Posted by stopdog

I actually think that if you want to give money to a charity - then great, but don't tie it to what the therapist did.
You offered and she declined. I think one should respect that and not try to come up with ways around it.

In general, I sort of find it disrespectful for people to not take no as an answer. I understand that is not the OP's intent here, just offering another perspective on this.

Stopdog-haven't you ever seen the movie Pay it Forward??

[unlockingsanity]

Originally Posted by Autumn Skies

Stopdog-haven't you ever seen the movie Pay it Forward??

I think stopdog is just trying to say that if someone says it's okay, you can not do anything and let it be okay like that.

Some people (me included, I admit) tend to go overboard when it's really not necessary.

It doesn't mean it's not a great thing to do, but it's not necessary.

[RTerroni]

No way, that makes it look like you can't spend time with your Therapist without being paid.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by Autumn Skies

Stopdog-haven't you ever seen the movie Pay it Forward??

I am saying that there is also the notion that the therapist said don't pay her and one can accept that and go on.
If one wants to give to charity, I think that is great. Giving to charity is not the part I am saying I think is the sticking point.
I just think one should not do it in the name of the therapist.
If I told someone I did not want payment for something, I would not feel touched or happy or honored etc if they gave the payment to a charity in my name. I would feel irritation that the person did not hear or respect me when I said no.
Just another perspective on it.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I am saying that there is also the notion that the therapist said don't pay her and one can accept that and go on.
If one wants to give to charity, I think that is great. Giving to charity is not the part I am saying I think is the sticking point.
I just think one should not do it in the name of the therapist.
If I told someone I did not want payment for something, I would not feel touched or happy or honored etc if they gave the payment to a charity in my name. I would feel irritation that the person did not hear or respect me when I said no.
Just another perspective on it.

Excellent point Stop. I think you're absolutely right, especially given that I'm trying to learn boundaries. I'm so glad you said this. I will give a donation b/c I want to, leaving her out of the mix entirely.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

Originally Posted by RTerroni

No way, that makes it look like you can't spend time with your Therapist without being paid.

Well...that's where my thought process was coming from because I don't think I can spend time with her without paying her.

She gets paid by the hour. She didn't get paid not only for the time she was with me, but for the time she didn't have other clients because we had no idea how long the whole thing would take.

But Stop has changed my mind on this and I will respect T's boundary.

Guess you can teach an old dog new tricks (me...no reference to Stopdog's age )