Masturbation suggestion from T?

Please take this however you will, but I feel sorry for you that you have never masturbated. It seems such a human thing to do, and for women, it is probably the only way you will ever be able to teach yourself how to enjoy sexual intimacy fully with a man. Again, this is my opinion. I do it more days than not, and have zero guilt whatsoever. I don't think your therapist is odd for suggesting it. If not your therapist then who will you know? And I personally agree with your therapist. I think it's healthy, doctors think it's healthy, there are no negatives I'm aware of at all, no risks, you are not harming anyone or yourself. I'm not sure what religion you are, but if masturbating is a sin I can guarantee you no one I know is making it to heaven.

As I understand it, Freud held that sex is more than just another issue. It is the place where all issues converge, the place where the subconscious is most powerful.

I appreciate what you are saying, and think I know what you mean. I just want to clarify something, assuming I am understanding you. There is a large percentage of women who can't orgasm from penetration. over 50% I believe. If you are in that group, some type of manual stimulation is required for orgasm. There are options, and some people don't consider it masturbation if it's part of enjoying sex with a partner. Were you referring to something else?

My last 3 Ts and I have at one point talked very briefly about masturbation. One encouraged me to do it to relax and said that "everyone, well not everyone, does it." Another I brought up a funny vibrator story and she was like 'good for you.' and my current one it has very occasionally come up with me saying things like my only partner is plastic or something and her being encouraging of masturbating. I think that they've all encouraged in part for body issues (I'm overweight) and in part for me to have sexual pleasure when there's not a man in my life, which there rarely is. It's never been a big topic of conversation, just casual and I'm glad that we have had these conversations.

I meant in general, but there is also that. I would just imagine a woman who literally never touches herself will necessarily have a much worse sex life than one that does. For some like you mention, will probably never orgasm in their life. Having sex without stimulating a woman's clitoris is like playing with a guys balls and completely ignoring his cock and asking him to get off.

Since I am Male and my Therapist is Female, I wonder if it would even be appropriate for me to discuss that at session.

I find there are lots and lots of things that prevent people from enjoying sexual intimacy fully. I wouldn't pick out masturbation as some special category of necessary experience to enjoy sexual intimacy. It's all so complicated. I imagine most of us don't fully enjoy sex for one reason or another. We all just do the best we can with who we are.

It seems like something all Ts would be prepared for. In theory, anyway...

I guess so, in any event I don't have any plans to bring it up in the near future.

At my first annual physical after my divorce, I told my doc about a joke I had heard. The physician asks the patient, "Are you having sex since your divorce?" And the patient replies, "Do you mean with somebody?"

I'm male and I discussed it with Madame T (a little, I don't have any problem with it). That was fine. I would find it more difficult to talk about it to a male T.

I talk about it. I kinda needed to talk about it today because I have trouble with sensitivity regarding that probably due to past abuse. I was way too aggressive and ripped something. I know it was probably me taking anger out against myself and that's why we would talk about it. But I just couldn't bring it up. I was too embarrassed

T2 brought up quite often that one should have sex 2x/week for optimum health. She was also an advocate for masturbation.

I have just begun to talk about sex with T. It is a very embarrassing and complicated subject for me and has a lot of baggage attached. One thing T has said so far is that it's perfectly normal not to like everything about sex.

I do masturbate, BTW, and enjoy it very much. Don't know too many people that do not like it.

That is taking it a bit far, though - it is not exactly unknown that different people have different needs, also in terms of frequency. Some people might like to have it twice a week, for others once a month is fine, and some people never have sex at all and are in perfect physical and mental health.

I don't like that kind of categorically prescriptive statements - neither "masturbation is bad for you" (it isn't) nor "you should have sex x times a [random period of time]" (only you can know what's optimal for you.)

I didn't really listen to T2 when she'd say that, Mast. Just my experience in T regarding sex. Everyone has different needs.

Sorry, Chopin, I did not mean to sound as if I was critical of you. Your quote just pushed my big red "challenge the categorical statement" button

I'm sorry Mast...I'm operating on no sleep. I should probably avoid PC today.

My old T and I talked about it our third session together probably. I had come to her b/c I had a binging problem and we were making a list of activities I could do instead of binging.
I was hesitant to bring it up, but I mentioned that using my vibrator would be a good alternate activity to eating. I wasn't sure how she would react, but she loved it!! She told me to put it at the top of her list and asked if I wouldn't mind her sharing that suggestion with her other clients.

I do agree that masturbating helps you enjoy sex more in some ways. Before I started doing it, I didn't know what an orgasm was (I mean I had heard of them but didn't know what they were all about) and I thought I was one of those people that couldn't physically have them. Once I started masturbating I knew that was wrong.