Masturbation suggestion from T?

this past session T and I were casually discussing an argument my mother and I had, my mother questioned whether or not I masturbate ( which is none of her business and I feel as if that's a sick question to ask your almost 21 year old daughter) nonetheless, I joked about it saying how I should buy a vibrator and 'accidentally' leave it out somewhere just to ruffle my mother's collar. I don't masturbate, never have, but I think that's a topic for another time. Anyway, My T eventually said, "Weeellllll, I don't think there's anything wrong with it, I think maybe you should do it a little bit, you know, just to..." that's when I immediately was like "ehhh, no I'd rather do the vibrator joke thing." At the time, since that whole segment of the conversation was very light-hearted, the suggestion didn't phase me, but now I'm kinda feeling strange about it.

Has anyone else ever had something like his ever come up in session? Has a T ever recommended it to you? I know this is kinda weird, but this particular session was completely weird and random so yeah... Anyone?

Is your T male or female? I ask because it seems like a rather uncomfortable response. Humor is often a defense against serious concerns, so although I don't remember us ever talking specifically about masturbation, his response when I would say something with humor was often to ask a question about the topic in a serious tone. So I'm a little surprised your T didn't respond with a serious question about how your Mother's comments made you feel, or whether you were uncomfortable with the idea of masturbation. It's a technique to normalize topics that would be difficult to talk about in general social conversation, and encourage an open attitude--that no topics are taboo in therapy.

I had a pastor suggest for me to masterbate, that was weird. My T and I talk about sex and yes she does give me her opinion of the things we talk about. Last session she told me to tone down our sexual interactions until I'm in a better mood.

T is female in her mid 30s. I dont think she asked me how I felt about it because I already told her how my mother's questioning made me feel. I have therapy at a straight-laced Christian based organization therefore masturbation is generally considered sin among the religion, though my T is a VERY liberal Catholic. And I have discussed with her in the past about my CSA in relation to my uncle so I'm guess she assumed that my discomfort with it is because of that which its not, it's something completely different.

Ah. Well, I really can't speak to Christian counseling.

Its not really christian counseling per say. It's very much so strictly therapeutic. It's not centered around religion, if that makes any sense, its just a christian organization.

Therapists, in general, are in favour of masturbation as evidence of a healthy mind.

Trigger for mentioning rape/CSA- not much but I'm better safe than sorry.

Yes it's common for Ts to suggest it/talk about it with some clients cause
A. It's normal and healthy. No, it's NOT a sin.
B. it's supposed to help CSA survivors gain a positive RS with their body.
At the hospital I was in they even had it as a HW-CBT, what can I say
My T thinks so too but it's not pushing me. I think it surely is a step in our recovery. However, it shouldn't be rushed cause it could add to the trauma ("raping yourself" sorry but I simply lack a better phrase for the way I felt about it )

I have talked to T about masturbation pretty openly. I think Ts would generally talk about how knowing what pleases your body as an ok thing, that its a safe way to relieve sexual desires, etc. They would talk about any negative feels that occur (guilt, shame, etc). My T has talked me through some confusion about masturbation, and gave me suggestions to ease intense feelings.

Wow, I've never thought of it that way. I usually pretty much steer clear of that entire subject. I'm not really sure what made me flippantly bring it up in session last week.

Not sure if I want to have a deeper conversation about it though. I guess since I don't know what I'm missing then I'm okay with not masturbating.

Do you mind explaining your confusion about it?

I have a pretty horrific history of CSA. People used my body for their pleasure. Confused about me doing that to myself. Wondering if its bad. Wondering about other people with CSA and wondering if I was bad for engaging in masturbation. Confused about thoughts I had while masturbating, and what is "normal". Intense fears right before orgasm,the feeling of loss of control.

elaygee your therapist is sex therapists?
It would be strange if mine told how to do it to get intense feelings. If he told me what to do with my fingers THERE, I'm sure I would imagine him doing this to me and think that he knows how to better satisfy me. I would let him to show me how to do it
But no we never talk about it.

No, sorry. She didnt tell me how to intensify anything, but how to *deal* with intense feelings surrounding the act. Though Im sure if I told her that my ministrations were not effective she would give me suggestions. I actively talked to her and showed her "toys" that I considered. I know it has to sound crazy, but it is all in relation to my CSA. So she helped me talk and think through what would meet my needs and reduce triggers. My T is awesome and very professional. I know hearing about just this may be like OMG

I have had "issues" in the past (too complicated and embarrassing to explain). Anyways, after 3 yrs of seeing T #5, I finally opened up about these issues. She told me to go buy the book "What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex". Every week I read a new chapter and then would discuss it with my T. After reading the whole book, she suggested I try some things discussed in the book, including buying a vibrator.

I still carry a lot of shame about my "issues", but thanks to T #5, I've made a lot of progress. I understand myself better, respect myself more, and am more comfortable with talking about sex (especially with my partner). It was a difficult and embarrassing thing to deal with in therapy and am grateful I did. On the other hand, I will NEVER tell another living soul about those "issues"; not even my current T.

Whenever I do that i feel worse. Liberating? Nope.

Well, T is the only person it would be ok for me to talk about sex with - not in salacious detail, but whether it happens, and whether it brings up particular emotions. I can't think of anybody else I would feel comfortable discussing that with, so if I needed to talk about it, T would be the person.

I would slide off my seat and die of embarrassment if my T brought up sex or masturbating.

We've discussed sex and masturbation, not explicitly, my choice, but in some detail in the context of how csa has affected me. She shocked me once by stating she'd spontaneously envisioned a fantasy for me (quite graphic) where I took back my power. When she named the fantasy, omg, I suddenly saw a WHOLE new side of her. It was pretty awesome... to have someone go into the breach with me like that, and transform something that at the time felt soul-stealing into something to laugh about was just incredible.

I believe it's important to be able to talk about masturbation and partnered sex in therapy: a healthy sex life is integral to an overall healthy life and sexuality ties in with many other therapeutic topics, communication, relationships, self-image, etc.

Talking about this stuff with my Therapist our relationship feel closer in some sense. Not in any freaky sort of way but more of a "don't have to sensor myself" sort of way.

Sounds like t brought it up in a professional way. Its healthy to masturbate.

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My first t brought this up and I nearly died of embarrassment. I have done a lot of work sine then but there is no way in hell I am telling anyone about what I do or don't do. Some things are private

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I have never discussed sex with T. Sometimes I really wish I could approach the subject and how CSA still effects me today even after being married almost 20 years. However, I always grew up that sex was a secret and not talked about. Hard for me to bring it up. Also she is 65 and I am 41 would feel like talking to my mother...

Maybe someday.

I have discussed (in very vague detail) one sexual experience with my T. It wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it would be and I'm glad we had the conversation.

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My T and I have talked about sex, including vibrators! She's easy to talk to but I am usually embarrassed, anyway. I think she brought up sexual stuff first, and made me feel that it was okay to talk about. She didn't tell me how to masturbate (gulp, even typing that word is ) but we talked about it when discussing my issues.

I think most Ts think, and rightly so, that sex is just another issue that many people have problems with, and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with discussing it in your therapy.