Update session #3 2.19.14 new t let guard down a bit regretting it alot, feel betraye

So, I let my guard down a bit, now I feel extreme guilt that I have betrayed my old t, because , with my old t I had not let my guard down at session 3. Today we went over what stuff makes me feel guilty, and it had to do with (csa stuff) but nothing specific detail, just a list of stuff like feelings, example: not being able to say no. stuff like that.

Which to me is a HUGE step being that I dont know this lady or TRUST this lady,it seemed that she was elated, she thanked me for letting her in a little bit and showing her so much courage, and letting part of my wall down, she knew it was extremely hard for me.
She hoped that next session I would not shut down, because of this. She says she is bringing toys next week to her office, as my old t told her she had toys in her office to keep me distracted, as I spoke. I did like that.
She also told me she uses art therapy, which is good because I brought some drawings in to show feelings, thats one of my ways of communicating, she is using an ecletic approach, didnt bother asking, what the heck that is because i was too nervous.
she said we will be together for a long time. I just feel so guilty like I betrayed my old t trust or something.

This new t book me for 3 sessions ahead of time, something old t never did, same day same time, wednesdays at 11 my fav day and time. She is very challenging which i love, I love a good challenge and debate.

She is working on my pace, she will not get into csa, yet, working on current stressors and guilt and triggers, except that she knows that guilt and trigger have to do with the past, but she says that will help us with our future csa work, and we are going to work on the words I cant say regarding csa, so when we do csa work, our conversation will go somewhat a "bit" smoother.
She has a sense of humor.

I told her when the time comes that we talk of csa, I will edit out stuff, so I will edit stuff out so I wont disgust her or scare her away, and she seem bothered, she says she expects me to be open and honest.

She sounds wonderful. I understand the guilt, but you have to know that old T would want you to get better. Your old T would be delighted that you are getting along with this T so well, and old T probably knew you would, which is why she was chosen.

Before old t left, she told me she carefully picked this t, because she knew we would be a perfect fit, and because of new t credentials she has the best credentials to best meet my needs, although, I mostly believe the therapeutic relationship is what makes therapy work, that and openess honesty and trust, just like a real relationship.

Im kinda guarded right now. I believe I have said too much, yet I feel bad because she is being so nice, like the policy of the clinic is for therapists to give one weekly appt. 2 appt ahead if client is needing it ahead of tme. She is giving me 3 appts ahead, and told me, its always going to be this way as she got approval.

She also got aproval for 60 minutes instead of 50. Im not complaining.
But I feel like she is wanting my trust badly.

She does want your trust, and she is trying to prove that she is trustworthy. She seems like she is highly invested in your care, and is willing to do whatever you need. That's wonderful.

I understand your hesitation, because even after 2 years I feel the same with my T sometimes (I've said too much, etc...), but it's just a passing feeling. And I don't think she sees it like that.

I think that you are not giving yourself and old T credit for the work that you did together. You do not need to start at the beginning by throwing away the work that was done. Because you have done some of the work already so you do not need to have as many sessions before you can talk about some of the stuff. Sure you will need to repeat some stuff but with the work you have done it is not going to take as long with new T

It sounds like new T is going above and beyond to make this transition go as easy as possible for you to not need to go through it all again but to move forward.

The art therapy sounds like a great way to work with new T.