[dolphingirl]

Last Tuesday T told me she would most likely be having surgery in two weeks (next Tuesday), so she went ahead and scheduled my session for today, since I've been trying to go every other week and every other week would put me on the Tuesday she's having surgery. T told me her or the receptionist would call/email if anything changed. I hadn't heard from T, I considered calling/emailing the office, but was sure they would if anything had changed, so I didn't worry about it and just decided to go to T's office for a session today as scheduled. I got to T's office and asked the receptionist if I still had a session with T and said it was going to be this week instead of next week. The receptionist told me that T is actually having surgery today, but I'm on the schedule for next Tuesday. I'm sure it was a simple mistake, T forgot to tell receptionist to call me, etc, but with the weekend I had I really wanted to talk to her. Part of me also wonders what's wrong with T. I know the type of surgery she was having, but the surgery date for those types of things isn't usually a few days after the appt with the surgeon.

Maybe y'all have some suggestions or can offer some support since T just had surgery. I have a tough time when my roommate is gone for the weekend, etc, which happens to be more weekends than not. I get "hypervigilant", hear more voices than normal, mistake objects, etc. Examples are I was eating some almonds and after I took a bite I was terrified because the half left looked like an evil, I kept thinking some one was in my apartment, heard more voices than usual, became really annoyed by her clock's noises, thought some one was following me on the way to clinicals on Monday and "saw" really strange flashing lights behind me, etc. T knows I have trouble when my roommate leaves, but I've never had this much. Her suggestion in the past was to spend more time with another friend on the weekend, but I usually work til 7pm on Friday and Saturday and am busy most of the day Sunday, so it's not like I have that much alone time. I also feel that I should be able to handle this better. Any suggestions on how to deal with these thoughts and feelings? I've tried listening to TV shows, but since I need to study even just listening to them becomes too distracting. I have an appointment with pdoc in a few weeks, but I think this might be more of a T issue. Sorry this is so long and I'm not even sure if it really fits here, but I wasn't sure where to put it.

[feralkittymom]

I'm really sorry you're feeling so anxious. Does increased stress usually make your symptoms more frequent? What has worked in the past in that case? If you're not feeling stable despite coping techniques, maybe a call to your pdoc would be a good idea? It sounds as if your T's surgery is something straightforward, since she'll only be out a week; is there anyone covering for her that you could call?

[dolphingirl]

Yeah, stress usually makes it worse, along with being alone. I haven't really figured out anything that helps- usually either it "goes away" or I see T and it gets better. Sometimes listening to a movie, TV show, music, etc. helps but lately trying to do that to distract me from the anxiety, thoughts, and voices doesn't help, makes it worse, or distracts me from studying. T's surgery should be pretty straightforward/routine for someone her age, but since she had it a week early, she didn't mention about contacting anyone else in the office and I didn't forsee that need. If T doesn't feel up to coming in and this continues I'll try talking to someone else in the office (most are interns and I don't want to "scare" them). I know pdoc would prescribe an AP or change the med, but I think this might be more of a T issue than a pdoc one- something I can work on with coping strategies/talking and not necessarily meds. Pdoc might not have any earlier appointments and I'm not that close with him.

[dolphingirl]

Anyone else?

Sorry to hear about your T.

I've had those types of symptoms, which sometimes turned out to be too close to the 'borderline' of psychosis.

These are the things that helped -

Not letting the room/house be quiet
Keep grounding yourself
Try to keep someone around the house who could be studying with you
Take Xanax
Funny movies
Take your homework to a coffee shop...edit: quiet bookstore or public library might be better
Watch children play
If you don't have a pet, see if you could borrow one
Travel or food channel in the background

Nothing original here, but I found that being quiet/alone makes those symptoms worse, and that's pretty much what's helped me in the past. I know it's tough to study with distractions. A dog or cat might not distract you as much as a person...

(((hugs)))

[dolphingirl]

Thanks for the ideas. I'll trying having the radio on. What's grounding yourself? In addition to T being gone, my manager left for two months, and I'm putting the finishing touches on my grandma's lifebook (she passed away 2 months ago).

Hi DG,

I am so sorry for your Grandma.

Grounding is a common technique, so there are many articles. Nature or anything that stimulates senses are good for me - like gardening (not a good one for this time of year). Eating popsicles, taking a hot shower. Playdough or clay is a good one...

You'll find things that might work best for you.

So how are you doing this weekend?

WHAT IS GROUNDING?

Grounding is a set of simple strategies to detach from emotional pain (e.g., craving, anger, sadness). Distraction works by focusing outward on the external world, rather than inward toward the self. You can also think of it as “distraction,” “centering,” “a safe place,” “looking outward,” or “healthy detachment.”

WHY DO GROUNDING?

When you are overwhelmed with emotional pain, you need a way to detach so that you can gain control over your feelings and stay safe. Grounding “anchors” you to the present and to reality.

Many people with PTSD or those people who are struggling with feeling overwhelming emotions and memories or those feeling numb with dissociation, benefit from grounding

Behavior Health Resources

[dolphingirl]

I'll have to read more about grounding. I'm doing a little better this week/weekend. I'm not hearing as much or as paranoid, but I still lack motivation and don't want to do anything. I just have an overall "blah" feeling. I hope T is feeling better because I would like to talk to her before I talk to my pdoc.