T sent me friend request on Facebook

See I am not really mad at her for spying as I am guilty of that, it is the deleting and then not explaining!
I know her Facebook didn't sync. I know it was nothing to do with her email and I can't explain why because it is not safe to on here but please trust me as I know that she was looking.

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It's no different from us looking at them, and thanks for pointing that our red panda. I would not get mad with her for looking. It is only natural, it's human nature but if you get caught looking that's different. Not really but maybe it deserves some explanation. I won't be seeing her for a long time now so this will fester

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I missed the first post....

Did she request to friend you and did you accept.....and then did she delete you from her friend's list? I'm trying to figure out what exactly happened....

which T is this, mona? new T or the last one? i could imagine your last T looking at your page due to her loose boundaries. if it's new T that isn't so cool. well, neither would be cool really.

Maybe she is just waiting to explain herself at your next appointment.. Perhaps, she doesn't see it as such a big deal and figures waiting until your next appointment is just fine. Also, if it bothers you this much, maybe.. you can contact her?

Ummmmm.........no. And that is weird. And you did the right thing. Your T...should not friend request you on social media.

Has anyone on here actually sent their Therapist a friend request only to have them decline it and have to talk about it with them at the next session.

So if you were looking at her facebook, then maybe her facebook automatically sent you a friend request, like maybe it found your email or phone number on her computer. Why should she have to explain, youre in t school, she probably figures you would understand the boundary. A lot of times i call instead of texting or vice versa just because i get the icons confused. Same thing with facebook, you do stuff you dont want to because there is no other way out of the screen.

Hankster, that's not how FB works. If you look at someone's page, that page doesn't mysteriously then send you a friend request.

The only way to "friend" someone on FB, is the manual friend request option.

I would like to add one thing: if the thing that makes you think that the email that she set up her account and the email she uses to email clients isn't the same is that you have seen a contact email on her page. I can say that I have set my facebook page up so that the email address that shows up as my contact address is NOT the one that I use to sign in with. It just makes sense for security reasons.

It could be that you think that there is no way that the address books were synced but did because she used the same addy to sign in on Facebook as she uses with her clients but elected to use another email as a contact addy that shows to her friends.

Funny, I thought about it and no, for me it's totally different. I can see why ppl would look their Ts up but I'd be worried if a T was doing that. Seems too client-y (needy, insecure, obsessed... Whatever). We have only one T, therapy is all about us so it makes sense some clients get a bit obsessed with their Ts, should not be the other way round though.
Same rules just don't apply- imagine T calling/texting a client because he missed them, needed to held on to the connection...
So yeah, if I found out my T was visiting my FB page (or any other) just because he felt like it, I'd freak out- for me this would me he doesn't believe me or he's in too deep with me. All and all a reason to find a new T.

It's not the first time she has done this, at the start of our seeing each other she knew something about me I had not disclosed and could know by looking at Facebook or googling me


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That's exactly what happened unlocking!

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It's my old one blur, I am trying not think negative about this but now I feel I can't trust her again, ts nearly always give me a reason not to trust them


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It's not the same and even if I am in t school, I am still her client. The boundaries are still the same regardless.
She doesn't have to explain but considering our relationship is built on honesty and trust it would be nice to think she could explain . She would want an explanation off me if I did the same to her.

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i'm sorry mona. it's a bummer she did that.

This is why facebook is evil.

I know it's hard, but until you talk to her about this I think you should assume it's all a big mistake and she's probably embarrassed, too. When do you see her again?

I just got around to this thread now and have been reading posts. I just wanted to add that Ts looking up clients is a whole other story than clients looking up their Ts. Ts are bound by ethical codes, unlike their clients. Unless looking up a client is part of some treatment plan (and much preferably with the client's consent first), a therapist should not look up a client. Yes, it's human nature to be curious, but professionals in helping professions are not supposed to satisfy their curiosity or act on their impulses with clients or patients.

This sounds like it was probably an accident, if not a brief lapse in judgment. Perhaps you and your T have some mutual friends and you were suggested as a friend to her and she might have clicked "Add friend" by mistake. There are many things which could have happened, really. I'm sorry you were added and then deleted. It's understandable you're upset. I hope the two of you can figure it out so it won't affect your therapy.

I honestly believe that therapists looking up clients happens much more than anyone in the profession would ever admit. Regardless of it being ethical, non ethical, rules or no rules, i think human nature and curiosity wins.

The problem with facebook is that it's so convoluted, and changes so much in its settings that no one knows what they are doing half the time. I mean, they mess about with all sorts of stuff and they can't come up with a "undo friend request" feature???

Asia: I frequently have to google how to change different things in Facebook.... which is utterly ridiculous! Their prvicacy settings and general settings are all over the place!

I know. They don't make it easy to keep things private. I hate facebook, but at the same time kinda addicted to it lol it's where i get all my news, where i connect to people and things of interest. I've started using twitter which i like better but it is less interactive which i don't like.

This thread is freaking me out. I facebook stalked my T and would be mortified if T knew I did. T's page is locked, but of course you can go in it if you know one of their friend's page that isn't.
Can anyone tell me if they (the person you are looking at) can somehow see who just 'looked' at their page? Not friended, just looked.

As far as OP's issue, I would not like it if a T looked me up. Double standard, I'm sure! And would really wonder about the un-friending.

no one can tell who has visited or clicked on their facebook page currently. So stalk away in confidence...

I am not on Facebook. Facebook sounds quite stressful all around. I see nothing wrong with anyone seeing anything that is public. I believe most therapists would not bother looking up the Facebook page of a client. I imagine they look stuff up on clients all the time, but a social network site does not seem all that interesting or relevant in my opinion. I have seen Facebook pages that others have shown me and I can't for the life of me figure the whole thing out. But I am old and only text two other people too.