T sent me friend request on Facebook

And the fact that this isn't even her current therapist makes me figure this was just an accident of some sort. There are so many weird ways to accidentally friend someone, and once you realize it you unfriend them. There is a list a mile long of people to "friend" and I don't know hardly any of them (they're friends of friends of friends and their friends ), but I've accidentally clicked that check box myself on people I had no intention of friending later realizing what I had done. It happens.

My Facebook also suggests friends or people I might know. It comes up in list form. It's possible she meant to click someone above or below you on the list or was selecting a number of people and accidentally clicked you. That has happened to me, although since I'm not a T I didn't bother with unfriending the person since that might come off...well unfriendly

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I had a friend (a T) tell me that he found all his clients on facebook to block them and family members. To me that sounds utterly exhausting and quite a step to take, but he says he does it.
I'm betting on the syncing thing. And maybe she didn't realize it would alert you to the adding/removal, thus didn't want to bring it up, causing unnecessary discussion. Also it's not a good convo over email/text to have, usually it's a face to face thing to apologize for.
It sucks but I really, really wouldn't jump to "spying" or generally trying to hurt your feelings.

T rang me today to explain what happened. Well to try and explain it. It wasn't a sync thing or anything like that. She was really embarrassed and apologetic but I still violated or something

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It sounds like something you need to bring up at your next appointment and explain exactly how it made you feel and why.

Oh man. I'm so sorry to hear how things turned out. I must give your T some kudos for at least trying to take responsibility for her actions, though they are inexcusable.

Am I overreacting to this? How would everyone else feel? I think it has pushed all of my buttons but part of me can't give out to her cos I feel for her too, she got caught

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It's hard to say because we don't know the reason (or the extent) of her snooping.

Neither do I

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i dont think you are over reacting, they are your feelings, you have every right to feel what you feel, you own your feelings remember that. You have to address this with your t ok, whether it was an accident or not, it was done, and you deserve an explanation, you have every right to be concerned about it, not sweep it under the rug.

My t 'invited' me once on another website. I found out later she had logged in using her email address and everyone in her address book had been automatically invited. It kept sending me automatic reminders which was weird.

* edit. Sorry Mona, just saw your update. I hope you get some answers

I don't post stuff on my page that I wouldn't want the world to see. I have friend requested my T she never accepted when I did I didn't know that it could be something wrong on their part Maybe one day she will accept it or not... But I welcome her to visit my page when I post photo's. She never says if she does or not. I hope she does I do visit her page to feel "close"... I have not told her but something inside tells me she knows.

I don't have T as a facebook friend. I however have my pcp as a friend. I feel very close to both of them as I figure I have told them things that NOBODY else knows about me. They have helped me through some very difficult things and continue to be there for me. Pcp once said there have been times that she has been concerned about me and so she watched my facebook. It wasn't about snooping or spying it was about making sure I was okay. It doesn't bother me as I know the reason behind it is that she cares.

I still dont understand exactly what happened. A timeline might help!

Well if it is your old Therapist who sent you the friend request than I see no harm in it, I have though about sending a friend request to a prior Therapist of mine (whom I haven't met with in over a year) but have yet to do so.

I can't really say exactly what happened because of wanting to protect my ts privacy. But she was looking at my profile

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It's totally alright to feel upset and violated.

If you're wantin others perspectives: If my T added me and then unadded me, I would feel hurt that he unfriended me. It wouldn't bother me at all if he looked me up - I don't post anything that I wouldn't be ok with him seeing as it is. Plus, I am friends with one of his coworkers and one of his ex-coworkers... so there's probably other people we have in common here.

Thanks sweepy for the reassurance, I thought I was over reacting


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YOU violated something? How so?

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mona, i don't think you're overreacting. i would feel a bit weird about a former T looking me up and behaving unprofessionally like that. you only just recently stopped seeing her so it doesn't seem appropriate to me for her to friend you, let alone, then unfriend you. i guess she realized her mistake but since you just terminated or took a break with her (not sure what your status is with her) it seems kind of icky for her to be wanting to know what you are up to now. i'm honestly not surprised she would do that though from everything you wrote about your therapy with her. i know she was helpful to you in some ways, so i think it's good to hold onto that and let go of the rest once you've had a chance to process it. try not to get stuck in the bad parts.

You violated what?

I can relate somewhat. A few years ago, my former T added me as a facebook friend accidentally, which I assumed based on the high number of new friends she had on her page. I think because I had emailed her and was in her contacts, it just added me along with everyone else. I sent her a message to check and, sure enough, it was an accident. She deleted me, but I now see her again for therapy and learned that she knows her profile is public and doesn't mind people seeing it.

On the other hand, I have a job where I mentor middle school students and keep my profile super private because I know how easy it is to facebook stalk people. I've had students on my caseload try to add me and am not surprised when they can't find me. I'm not allowed to add them anyway, and I want my private life to be private. No matter how cool and fun my students are or how much I care about them, it's just where my boundary is.

I hope you're feeling better and try not to take things personally, because it's probably not personal.

I see further on the thread that you've communicated about it a bit, hopefully you can work this out together

I had a former therapist add me and two other of her clients on facebook a few years ago. Eventually, when her co-workers found out, she did get in trouble. She had to have supervised sessions, her file was marked, and was forced to quit the organization. I didnt think too much of it at the time but knowing what I know, it is very....cant think of the word I am wanting...it's just not right for a therapist to add clients.

WOW, I think that is totally uncalled for and if I was that Therapist I might file sometime of lawsuit against the place citing an invasion of privacy.

I think it all depends on what peoples boundaries are, I personally don't care who is my friend on Facebook.