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  #26  
Old Mar 21, 2014, 01:35 AM
IWonderIf IWonderIf is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 29
It's wonderful to smile and laugh, especially when you're depressed! But remember the point ultimately is to learn skills to deal with the depression (not just now but in the future).

Self-disclosure for a therapist is a rocky road. I have worked with populations whose narratives are so similar to my own that there was often this seeming temptation to just "tell them how to do 'it'." Our similarities ("presenting problems") were so readily apparent that there was no way for me to maintain appropriate distance when they asked "so what did / would you do?" Knowing when it is appropriate to self-disclose is perhaps one of the most difficult things for a person to learn, much less a therapist.

Recognizing that this obvious similarity and desire to hear my story was interfering with their personal progress, I stopped working with those sorts of issues and now refer to a more suitable therapist.

Not saying you should get another therapist; not saying you shouldn't. That is totally for you to decide.

Just make sure that the smiling and laughing are toward a purpose or goal. Make sure there's a "nugget" in them - something that benefits you after you walk out the door.

Remember that as much as we "love" you, we really would prefer that you never had to meet us in the first place. And, if we're doing our jobs, we hope you will leave quickly; have a long and happy life; and that we'll never meet again!

Strange as that may sound - it is, or should be (in my opinion), true for every therapist.

Angst sucks; we all have it. Sometimes we have so much we need help, and so therapists exist. That being said, if I could snap my fingers and everybody could just "be OK" tomorrow, I personally would be more than willing to go out and find another job!

Last edited by IWonderIf; Mar 21, 2014 at 01:56 AM.
Thanks for this!
AmysJourney

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  #27  
Old Mar 21, 2014, 08:34 PM
badoutlook's Avatar
badoutlook badoutlook is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2013
Posts: 27
Ok. I get where you're coming from. I'm not sitting here thinking that he loves me or anything crazy. It just feels a little too intimate for me. And I know transference exists. But I learned too much about him and I genuinely like him as a person. He is beautiful inside and out. He is so mature and smart for his age. And I'm not trying to end up with feelings that are too deep to deal with. That's why I asked him not to say the things he has. It does seem like he didn't think it through. I have a history of bad abusive relationships. Plus he knows I overanalyze EVERYTHING in my life. Idk. I see him Monday and ill see if he thinks I should see a new T. But on the other hand as soon as any man gets too close I run away. But in this case it seems fitting.
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