Would you want to know if T made mistakes with you?

It's funny, things I see as mistakes and things he sees as mistakes are not always the same.

He tells me if he feels he wronged me or therapeutically made a mistake -- he doesn't do that often IMO

I think my T meant mistakes in treatment, not something like scheduling. But I really don't know what she meant. I remember my first T telling me the same thing once. She said "I missed the boat with you sometimes." I also remember her, my first T, saying that after she got help from a supervisor, she was more able to deal with "that material". That material was my thoughts about wanting to hurt her, which she said made her "crazy". Having her tell me that didn't help me at all, obviously.

Thank you VERY much for the big hug!!! Yes, it's painful even though I've known the truth for a long time. I feel it now, though.

Thanks! Is he okay with that?

I agree.
Thank you. I just don't WANT her to have made mistakes with me. I trusted her so much, for 4 years, and to hear her say she made mistakes (unless they are minor things) upsets me and makes me a little angry, too.

That is a very good answer; thank you. You're right. What matters is what I do, not what my T has done right or wrong. She's been good for me, more often than not, no matter what mistakes she made. She probably does mean that there are things she did that were less helpful to me than other things she did.
Yes, like I do not think holding my hand was a mistake. I don't think doing EMDR was a mistake either. Making promises she couldn't keep didn't help me, so that may be what she meant. I think that's a mistake.

I couldn't stand the unsettled feelings anymore so I emailed my T the concerns I have about her making mistakes. I also told her MY big mistakes that I feel bad about. Now I feel better because she will know what's on my mind before I see her. I'm still anxious about what mistakes she thinks she made. Are they the ones I know about, or something else entirely? What if she doesn't want to tell me?

It seems like I'm tying things up with my T to get ready for termination, but I'm not. Like I wrote, "I'm not ready to give her up yet." Seeing her every 2 weeks gives me time to see what is important to me, what's left to work on. I still have unresolved feelings about her divorce. I don't know if they are real or transference. We did talk about it, but something is still bothering me and I don't know exactly what it is.

My T has told me she's made mistakes, mostly small ones. For example, she has said she is proud of me for accomplishing certain things, and apparently from what she has said, that's a major no-no in the therapy world because it sets expectations that clients will feel they have to meet. I actually like being told that she is proud of me, but I can also see how it could go wrong.

Another one was that we were talking about something sensitive, and she didn't pick up on how I was responding to it. That caused a rupture that we had to work out the next session. But that was more misattunement than a blatant mistake.

Those are the only ones I can think of off the top of my head that we've discussed.