T told me to 'be presentable next time'.... I got offended

How you dress can affect and be affected by how you feel. But this is totally the wrong way for a T to bring it up.

Instead: "I notice you're dressed differently this week. Tell me about that."

I'm so sorry - that's horrible, IMO. I used to wear my work clothing to T but over the past several months, I've taken to changing into comfortable clothing before going to T. I just need to feel comfortable as it's exhausting for me. If my T made a comment/argument like that, I'd be hurt. Now if he said something like "Is everything ok? I'm concerned about you because it seems like your appearance has changed and I know you've been depressed" - maybe.....but even that is clumsy.

I hate to say it, but my suspicion is that some professionals have either 1) not done their own work and therefore are hiding their own dysfunctions or 2) have never had any deeper problems in life than trying to decide what color lipstick to wear to work that day.

Probably #1. They say a T cannot take you any further than the point they have gone in their own personal therapy/work....but idk.

I would not go back to her. Ever. And that's coming for someone who pretty much always has a try-again-and-see-if-you-can-work-it-out mentality.

Yikes. That wasnt nice of her at all. IF she were trying to be helpful,a nd perhaps she was, she could have certainly phrased it in a more pleasant and kinder way.

Your T was totally out of order, I go to therapy in jeans most weeks.
If my T said this to me then I wouldn't go back.

Kinda way off base with that one. I would find a new therapist. Sometimes therapists just kill me! Go in looking good and you're hiding your feelings. Go in not looking so hot and "you'll feel better if you look better".

WTH!

Thanks for the responses guys, made me feel more justified in what I was feeling. I'm scared that I'm so messed up that no therapist will fit me. This is the 3rd one I've tried out.

I went to some event with my friend Friday evening, and her intentions backfired. I was too insecure about wearing my sweater (which is the only sweater I have atm) that I just went in a t-shirt and was freezing while we were outside. My friend even offered his jacket throughout it.

Not very invested. The first suspicion for me was when I emailed her some questions, one of which was "do you see a therapist", and she never answered me on that. Now this. I'm going to hesitantly give her the benefit of the doubt, keyword being hesitantly. I'll think I'll look for someone else if something else doesn't sit well.

I responded pretty much how I typed it out in the original post. I said that "yeah it does feel good to dress nice, but how long does that feeling even last". Not sure if you meant something more specific by this question.

I think I'm going to dress real nice for the next one just to see her reaction and show her that it doesn't matter, lol.

Hi Random..

therapy should be non-judgmental and a safe place. It seems that is not the way your sessions are at the moment. Your T was unethical and unprofessional and I think even though it is hard, perhaps you should keep looking for one that fits you better. I know it's hard, but if you want real help, you should have a T who supports you, not judges you.

Sorry your T said that to you. As a couple other posters, I came in to read thinking it might be about wearing something inappropriate.

Third session in, without provocation, discussion from you, is a bit unusual for a t to discuss your attire. And a bit presumptuous to assume, you've anything different in your wardrobe, other than your personal style of clothing.

Alas, it does touch your nerve. My pdoc, last session, asked if I was still practicing yoga. Now, depending on, my frame of mind,, mentally towards my body image, that could very well had been a loaded question. I've been a bit off the yoga routine, yet stated back at him, that I'm on my feet at work, as in i still get some physical activity. If I wanted to delve, and not second guess intent in the question, I'd be served well to say, why do you ask?spares me my feelings, that way. I took it as partially, complimentary and a mix, of concern, that I am attending to my overall health.

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