[nottrustin]

Tonight T had to cancel because of illness again. She has been pretty sick this winter so has had to cancel a few appointments. Add that to a horrible winter that has caused appointments to be canceled and I feel like I can never rely on having an appointment. Usually I find out in the afternoon the day of my appt, Unfortunately, she only sees patients on Thursday and Friday evenings. So if she cancels it means a week before I see her again. Just when I had finally ready to deal with a few issues that she knows nothing about that are very painful

I love her as a T. and can't imagine imagine starting from scratch with somebody else and we get along so well. P

[RTerroni]

I know it can be hard, I can't remember if I (or my Therapist) have ever had to cancel a session because of one of us being sick but if it happened I know that I would be upset about it.

[HazelGirl]

This winter has been brutal when it comes to weather and illnesses. Spring is just around the corner and it will get better from there.

[AmysJourney]

This is such a huge topic and I am sure it has been discussed many times. But still for many it is a huge struggle when the T has to cancel. My T cancelled a few times because of the winter weather as well, either because the schools were closed and she had to care for her children or because she couldn't get to the office. Whenever a T cancels out of personal reasons, people are in two minds about it. On the one hand they feel concern for their therapist - is she/he ok? But what we don't like to admit sometimes is the bigger feeling of missing him/her, feeling unimportant, feeling abandoned, feeling we don't count as much - or, like you, we think.. gosh, I really need him/her now and this is stressing me out. Many people chose their therapist on their personal status.. My friend chose her T because she is unattached with no family and a very flexible schedule. I chose mine because she was a mother, because I felt her love for her family in the very first session. In her office are drawings from her children. It makes me feel like I am in the presence of someone who cares deeply. But more than once I had to admit that I felt like crying when she cancelled because something personal happened in her private life.

But, I believe it's ok to feel that way, it shows we have built a connection with our T, we have real feelings towards them and even acknowledging jealously or disappointment is ok. It gives us a chance to re-examine our feelings.. Does the jealously have something to do with what we experienced in our childhood? Does the disappointment have something to do with our childhood? How can we work this out? It builds an excellent ground to bring this up with your T..

BUT, if you need real help and you need it more regularly than your T can provide, perhaps it is a good idea to look around for someone else. Even if you have a great relationship with your current T. Therapy is about YOU - so you have to define what you need and where you can get it.

I hope you won't get many more cancellations and I hope you find the help you are looking for!

With love,
Amelia

[nottrustin]

Thank you for your responses. My T is single (she recently started dating a guy from out of state so they only see each other on the weekends so it doesn't effect our schedule) and her child is grown and also lives out of state. Definitely not a jealousy issue.

She was recently diagnosed with colitis so right now they are trying to figure out how to treat it best. This winter has been horrible with storms. Typically she does not cancel for snow...but when police are asking people to stay off the roads she respects that and cancel...that has happened 2 or 3 times a year. I am VERY sympathetic as she has NEVER been one to call out sick..she use to be one of those who hadn't cancelled for YEARS....

Just hard when I am the mindset of I am going to see her the same day and then find out she has to cancel.. She is always open to emails and such so she is always available if needed.

[AmysJourney]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

Thank you for your responses. My T is single (she recently started dating a guy from out of state so they only see each other on the weekends so it doesn't effect our schedule) and her child is grown and also lives out of state. Definitely not a jealousy issue.

She was recently diagnosed with colitis so right now they are trying to figure out how to treat it best. This winter has been horrible with storms. Typically she does not cancel for snow...but when police are asking people to stay off the roads she respects that and cancel...that has happened 2 or 3 times a year. I am VERY sympathetic as she has NEVER been one to call out sick..she use to be one of those who hadn't cancelled for YEARS....

Just hard when I am the mindset of I am going to see her the same day and then find out she has to cancel.. She is always open to emails and such so she is always available if needed.

In am so glad to hear that. She sounds like a good T for you. And I hope she will feel better.

[Auntie2014]

When the weather has been bad my T would do a phone session. Is it possible that you could talk to your T about doing that for bad weather? I know it would not work when she is ill but again she might be able to call on a different day rather than skipping appointment.
Good Luck