[Daeva]

So the last month I have been overly aggressive--which is NOT like me, I'm normally passive. My therapist pointed out that she has noticed many new behaviors that never happened before I moved into the group home. Today we talked about my aggression and found out I have this cycle/pattern.

Behavior that are positive people like me!!----->I feel good----> I get anxious because I have to be good and perfect so they continue to love me------> I feel hopeless and angry because I can't achieve perfect---->So then I sabotage create conflict to push others away before they leave-----> But I feel guilty for it all and want them to love me so I have to make amends and then it goes back to the beginning.

It was just interesting. She copied her notes for me today and so I shall share it with you all.

[rainbow8]

I'm glad you had a productive session! That cycle is interesting as I'm a little like that too. Did your T have suggestions as to how to break the cycle?

[RTerroni]

Great to hear, hope it stays that way

[Daeva]

Not yet we are saving that for next session because I ran over on my time by 15 minutes, we were making such progress that she didn't want to break it.

This sounds like a cool insight, Daeva. Do you think that now you'll lower your expectations for perfection, try to be easier on yourself?

[Daeva]

I hope so! I need to discuss this 'I need to be good cause I'm such a bad person' thing.

[Victoria'smom]

Thank you for sharing this with me. It helps me a lot.