[sweepy62]

So I have been struggling all week and weekend with all these emotions and push and pull with the new t, and I guess projections and transference from my old t to my new t.

I can't deal with this inner fight, current stressors, and current CSa nightmares, even when I take a nap I wake up in sweat and chills scared From nightmares . Can't do this.

I'm going to tell her exactly how I'm feeling about my vulnerability . And how I want her to help me , but at the same time I want to push her away.

I'm going to let her know what I have posted here, and how much you guys have helped. I'm ready to take a couple of baby steps at my pace, even if its through drawing.

I can't do it alone, I'm tired, I need to be greatful of what my old t has done for me and see what's in front of me, and how many unfortunate people wish they had my opportunity.

It's not to say that there won't be struggles along the way and I will want to give up. But I can always count on my pc buddies. Btw I'm very scared to do this.

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[sweepy62]

I mean I can always count on my pc buddies

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and I will want to give up.

You won't give up!! Wishing you courage and strength, Sweepy

[Auntie2014]

One baby step at a time. You can do it. Your old T would be so proud of you for being willing to try making those baby steps so when you walk into new T's room Wed you hold your head up high and be proud that Sweepy is being brave.

[HazelGirl]

I love this! You're so brave!

[sweepy62]

Thank you hazel girl wish me luck on Wednesday I will only take a mini baby step but I will do it

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[CameraObscura]

Sweepy, I lurk here mostly, but I've been reading your journey with your new T. I'm so happy to see this post, and I also think you're very brave. Go you!

[sweepy62]

Thank you, I will be extremely nervous on Wednesday but it beats feeling miserable, it's not to say I will feel great after the session , but I know I will have vented my feelings and she will know how maybe, work with me better.

I'm planning to draw some of these feelings out, I have to admit to her that I need her help, since my old t left I have been keeping alot of things inside.

I'm not doing well , I need to verbalize my feelings.

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[HazelGirl]

I will be thinking of you on Wednesday. Let us know how it goes.

[nottrustin]

I will be thinking about you this week...I know it will be hard but you can do it... I am proud of you for getting to this point.

[sweepy62]

Thank you for your support I will update on Wednesday , I have anxiety already feeling vulnerable already, have not called her.

She might actually fall off her chair when I say I want to talk about feelings, it's so out of character for me, probably she will need grounding lol.
Maybe she will say " where is SWEEPY? Anyway this might be the one time for a while that I do this, but it's a step.

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[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

I'm going to tell her exactly how I'm feeling about my vulnerability . And how I want her to help me , but at the same time I want to push her away.

Btw I'm very scared to do this.

Sweepy -

Bravo! Based on my therapeutic experience, I can tell you that this is the BEST thing you can do for your treatment. I think you'll be surprised by how relieved you'll be when you leave that session. Telling her about that inner conflict is going to help her know how to walk you through it. It's going to be good, Sweepy

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

I have anxiety already feeling vulnerable already, have not called her.

She might actually fall off her chair when I say I want to talk about feelings, it's so out of character for me, probably she will need grounding lol
.
Maybe she will say " where is SWEEPY? Anyway this might be the one time for a while that I do this, but it's a step.

Or, she might say "Finally! I'm so glad Sweepy is *really* with us for this session.. Welcome!"

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

I have anxiety already feeling vulnerable already, have not called her.

Oh.. one more thing...

Although a first step into vulnerability is indeed scary... what you'll soon find out is that it will free you. Your anxiety will disappear once you put your foot in that water. Remember, you are opening up the door to your therapist. You'll walk out feeling washed clean. And your relationship with that therapist will take on a whole new dimension that is exquisite to experience. Vulnerability is not a bad thing when you are in a safe, therapeutic relationship.

[granite1]

this was so awesome to read sweet pea .I am so routing for you.i think the progress you are making with this is so inspiring . keep going and keep posting

[sweepy62]

Thank you granite , like I said it will be difficult , but I will take the first step, and then I will let her do the rest because lol I will be mush.

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[SeekerOfLife]

Baby steps are the way to go Sweepy. At least they are for me. Anything more would be too overwhelming.

[AmysJourney]

I'll be thinking about you tomorrow and I think you are wonderfully courageous to have made this decision. I'm with you all the way, you can do it. You are just great!

Amelia