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Old Mar 18, 2014, 06:49 PM
withoutthelove_ withoutthelove_ is offline
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It seems like every time I have a session and T and I discuss the maternal transference and what I think/feel, I end up in tears. And not just during the session - after the session, all night that day and sometimes (like today) it's carried on to this morning.
I KNOW she can't be my mother and that I can't get what I want from her, but far out it hurts so. much.
She's always encouraging me to talk about it and she's understanding in how insecure I am about her leaving me. She allows me weekly sessions when she can (her policy is typically fortnightly) and I'm free to email her in between sessions to "just get it out into the ether".
She's very professional in her approach; she rarely (if ever) self-discloses, no physical contact.

Right now I'm supposed to be reassuring MYSELF that she cares and she won't abandon me but I can't. I feel like I need ACTUAL reassurance FROM HER, which she won't give me. I know I need to let go of all these "therapy mum" fantasies I have and just accept that she is only my therapist and that's all she ever can/will be.
It hurts so much, it's almost cruel.
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  #2  
Old Mar 18, 2014, 06:51 PM
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msxyz msxyz is offline
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You know, not all therapists have this approach. What you're describing wouldn't work for me at all. I am sorry this is so hard for you.
  #3  
Old Mar 18, 2014, 06:57 PM
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IndestructibleGirl IndestructibleGirl is offline
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Hi WTL, I'm just wondering - how long have you been seeing this T? Do you email in between much? And do you discuss them in session then?
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  #4  
Old Mar 18, 2014, 07:02 PM
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GenCat GenCat is offline
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Im in the same boat with my T. I am feeling the same way. Ive been seeing my T for about a year now, and I just cant think about parting from her because we have been through SO much. I wish so badly she would be my mother, because she is SO understanding and compassionate unlike my real mother.
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  #5  
Old Mar 18, 2014, 07:13 PM
withoutthelove_ withoutthelove_ is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl View Post
Hi WTL, I'm just wondering - how long have you been seeing this T? Do you email in between much? And do you discuss them in session then?
Almost a year now.
And I try to limit my emails, maybe one every two weeks, give or take. Some weeks are better than others. We usually discuss them.
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