I feel so upset about it. We were honest with each other, she explained why she couldn't tell me she was my t1 s supervisor because it was unethical!
T said she didn't feel it was a conflict of interest... I beg to differ here, it was a betrayal to me and t1. She might have even contributed to my termination. T swears she didn't and would never tell a supervisee to terminate a client, to refer yes but never terminate.
I told her I felt betrAyed on many levels, she wanted to know how. I think she was very cute here because she knew she was wrong and didn't admit to anything. She asked me not to put anything in writing- emails or texts and to talk about it if I need to ring her.
I prefer to write rather than talk in therapy. I couldn't say anything and sat there silently. My heart was breaking inside because I knew I could never see her again. I was extremely attached to her. I was sobbing and getting worse, then t started to cry! It broke my heart because I knew she was disappointed in herself and she was attached to me! We both cried, she said she had to finish because she had to fix herself up for next person , as I was leaving she grabbed me and have me the nicest hug and we both sobbed into each other.
I feel so bad today about it all

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[RTerroni]

I know it can be hard, I sort of had that with my second Therapist

[Asiablue]

This sounds awful Mona ((

Originally Posted by Asiablue

This sounds awful Mona ((

It was, when I seen her crying, I feel apart because she is always so strong and happy!
She was soo upset, it was horrible.

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[Raging Quiet]

That sounds really powerful.

[CantExplain]

((Mona))

Very painful. But you saw her tears and got a hug, so maybe some closure there? I hope so.

I would give a lot for one more tear from Madame T.

PS: Now I come to think about it, that's exactly what I need from her.

Yes it helps because I know that I meant something to her and that it wasn't just a professional relationship, it. Was real.
CE, maybe you need a real connection, a sense of waning from Madame t? I am just worried that you will never get anything from her

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[Mactastic]

I'm terribly confused about this post, I'm not quite sure what happened, but whatever it was it's clear to me it was quite difficult, Mona. I'm sorry you had to go through that but it sounds like you got a wonderful hug and a good healthy cry out of it!

[blur]

that sounds like a terribly difficult session. i've always thought she cared about you but was not the most professional/ethical of Ts. both are very much needed.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

CE, maybe you need a real connection, a sense of waning from Madame t? I am just worried that you will never get anything from her

Maybe closure is not the answer for me. I want to find the pieces of the old relationship that really worked and build a new relationship around them. Worth a try.

I wanted to ring t all weekend.She told me to ring and not to email. I couldn't ring her because I would get too upset. I wonder is there any going back once you have found out your t lied to you?
I know why she did it but it doesn't make it any better!
I felt so safe in her arms crying but that safety wasn't real, if she lied to me once she could do it again. I should feel angry about this but I don't all I felt was sorrow or the connection I was going to lose. I felt sorry because she knew she messed up and how disappointed and hurt I was.
I knew t was too attached but I didnt realise she was more attached than me.

[HazelGirl]

I don't think she wanted to lie to you, or anything. It's not like she chose to. She had no choice and was forced to. I have to lie to people sometimes to protect privacy. It's not because I want to lie or enjoy it, but only because it would be worse not to.

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

I don't think she wanted to lie to you, or anything. It's not like she chose to. She had no choice and was forced to. I have to lie to people sometimes to protect privacy. It's not because I want to lie or enjoy it, but only because it would be worse not to.

Thank you, I hadn't thought of it like that. You are right and this is where I am torn because my mistrusting self wants to think that she betrayed me and lied because she wanted information about my t1 and then another side of me knows she had to lie but she also shouldn't have seen me knowing I was her supervisee's client. It is a conflict of interest.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Thank you, I hadn't thought of it like that. You are right and this is where I am torn because my mistrusting self wants to think that she betrayed me and lied because she wanted information about my t1 and then another side of me knows she had to lie but she also shouldn't have seen me knowing I was her supervisee's client. It is a conflict of interest.

That part is very true. A poor judgment call on her part to see you even though she knew it was a conflict of interest. But I seriously doubt she was doing it to get information about her supervisee.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Thank you, I hadn't thought of it like that. You are right and this is where I am torn because my mistrusting self wants to think that she betrayed me and lied because she wanted information about my t1 and then another side of me knows she had to lie but she also shouldn't have seen me knowing I was her supervisee's client. It is a conflict of interest.

How is that a conflict of interest? Maybe she doesnt want you to put anything in writing to protect you, not her. Youre being emotional and suspicious and showing you are unable to talk things out. You dont need a paper trail of that in your record.

It is a conflict of interest. It is unethical for a t to do this!
It is a conflict of interest because she is supposed to protect the clients interests above her supervisee s interests and seeing me whilst being my t1s supervisor is completely unethical!
If I wasn't able to talk things out, I wouldn't have met with her!

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[unaluna]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

It is a conflict of interest. It is unethical for a t to do this!
It is a conflict of interest because she is supposed to protect the clients interests above her supervisee s interests and seeing me whilst being my t1s supervisor is completely unethical!
If I wasn't able to talk things out, I wouldn't have met with her!

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I am asking what makes it unethical. It is not inherently unethical. It is not a dual relationship with YOU. My t was my pdoc's supervisor for his analysis clients. Its your suspicions that are holding you back. I dont mind that you yell at me. I understand the complexity of this situation. Even though things seemed all open and casual with my t and pdoc, i still had my transferential jealousies to deal with and work out. They just pop up and you deal with them.

I don't know what the laws are in American but here it is unethical and a conflict of interest. A t should not see a client if her supervisee has seen her as a privacy and confidentiality issue! Ts are supposed to protect our privacy.


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http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...t-see-you-now/
Here is a blog that explains why it is a conflict if interest and it has the potential to do harm!
A therapist should not see a client of their supervisee's as it has potential to do harm. T had worked with her for a long time and probably had some influence over her decision to terminate me. Also she was encouraging me to report her for malpractice, she was her supervisor....

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[unaluna]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

I don't know what the laws are in American but here it is unethical and a conflict of interest. A should not see a client if her supervisee has seen her as a privacy and confidentiality issue! Ts are supposed to protect our privacy.

I looked up the laws in ireland. It says in supervision to not reveal the client's name. It doesnt say anything about two ts seeing the same client, where one was the others supervisor at any time, or successively, or whenever.

Maybe you asked in class about your exact scenario and thats why youre so sure? I know how hard it is to speak up. My long term t said she waited three years for me to actually start talking. I remember thinking, "oh no i cant say THAT!" over and over again. I just wish you could hear me and trust me.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

5 More Reasons Your Therapist Won?t See You Now | World of Psychology
Here is a blog that explains why it is a conflict if interest and it has the potential to do harm!
A therapist should not see a client of their supervisee's as it has potential to do harm. T had worked with her for a long time and probably had some influence over her decision to terminate me. Also she was encouraging me to report her for malpractice, she was her supervisor....

The blog doesnt cover your situation at all, as far as i can see. You have said before - and i believe it is a common theme in therapy - that you feel what you say in t can be dangerous Or it seems ungrateful. That reminds me of what another poster said here yesterday about feeling guilty when older people die. Anyway, i think we are transferring our worry about bad things happening to US onto other people. But really the bad things are happening (or happened) to us.

Originally Posted by hankster

I looked up the laws in ireland. It says in supervision to not reveal the client's name. It doesnt say anything about two ts seeing the same client, where one was the others supervisor at any time, or successively, or whenever.


Maybe you asked in class about your exact scenario and thats why youre so sure? I know how hard it is to speak up. My long term t said she waited three years for me to actually start talking. I remember thinking, "oh no i cant say THAT!" over and over again. I just wish you could hear me and trust me.

I asked two of my tutors and my two new therapists and they all said the same thing- she should never have started to work with me and it was a betrayal and a conflict of interest.
As soon as she found out my ex t was her supervisee she should have terminated our relationship and referred me to someone else.
I don't understand why you can't see that Hankster and why you can't see how betrayed I am feeling when she specifically told me she didn't know my ex t!
Supervision is really mentioned in ethics as ts are supposed to know and abide by the codes of ethics as they are qualified already! I appreciate your feedback

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[stopdog]

I am sorry to hear you are feeling so bad about it. But I don't actually see the ethical conflict either.

Thank you, I guess only me and four other ts can see it

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[stopdog]

Perhaps this is a larger than usual cultural divide.