[kitten55]

It's hard to know where to start. My daughter (26), my son (24), and I are all bipolar type I. We live together. My daughter works. I have just quit, but because she has cerebral palsy and doesn't drive, I drive her to and from work every day. My daughter needs a therapist. She is on meds but is not totally up front with her doctor. She sleeps all weekend, eats too much, spends too much money frivolously, and can't discuss anything without crying, attacking, and screaming. There were 'issues' with her father when she was very young. I confronted him and he left. She has never had a boyfriend. I tell her I think she needs a therapist and she says she's fine. She's also crippled and needs surgery or braces. She says she's fine. Any suggestions?

[HazelGirl]

She definitely needs one, but she's an adult and needs to first see and realize that she does. You can't force her to go. So you can either tell her you won't put up with her crap and she needs to either get a therapist or leave, or you can enable her and let her live the way she currently is.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm 30, I have CP and bp 1. I also had 2 heal cord extensions, I'm supposed to wear braces. Let me tell you a secret braces hurt like hell. I'd rather risk breaking my ankles then wear a brace any day. So I found heavy knee high boots create a similar less painful version of an AFO . I waited at least 3 years in excutiating pain in my hip because I did not want to hear that I need another surgery or I'm working my way to a wheelchair. I didn't get good news when I went to the orthopedic but it wasn't as bad as I thought. I will need a hip replacement but later in life. I no longer am looking at being confine to a wheelchair. The orthopedic talked about another surgery but wanted a second opinion from a nurologist. So I went to see him, guess what? They can now use muscle relaxers and botox instead of heal cord extensions. Now I get ssi so I can pay for my medications and all my doctors.

It's hard to find a significant other that doesn't just want to use you. When you do its hard to convince family, friends and his family and friends that he is not using you. Its hard for even therapists to look passed the CP to recognize that mental issues are not related to CP. So all this is very frustrating. She may do better with an online therapist until she is ready to see one in person.

Edited to add: swimming has always help me with my BP and CP.

[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

She definitely needs one, but she's an adult and needs to first see and realize that she does. You can't force her to go. So you can either tell her you won't put up with her crap and she needs to either get a therapist or leave, or you can enable her and let her live the way she currently is.

Exactly when I was young I was forced into Therapy several times and it always ended up bad for me.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

She definitely needs one, but she's an adult and needs to first see and realize that she does. You can't force her to go. So you can either tell her you won't put up with her crap and she needs to either get a therapist or leave, or you can enable her and let her live the way she currently is.

I think encouragement is a better way to go...telling a disabled person that you wont put up with their crap(crap in reference to their disability and things it interferes with) and to knock it off or leave essentially that is just going to come off very invalidating and mean.

I mean she has obviously mental illness serious enough to take meds and cerebral palsy....I can see such an individual feeling down about things and not doing a lot of physical activities on the weekend, especially if they work during the week. So encouraging therapy is good provided shes not completely destroying the household and being abusive then I'd say certainly do what needs to be done to have her move out....if she is severly dysfunctional to the point of neglecting her needs or things like that she might need more than therapy.

[HazelGirl]

Oh, I definitely didn't mean "crap" in terms of disability. I meant it in terms of the abusive and erratic behavior she described her daughter as doing, and her daughter's unwillingness to get help.

[kitten55]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I'm 30, I have CP and bp 1.

It's hard to find a significant other that doesn't just want to use you. When you do its hard to convince family, friends and his family and friends that he is not using you. Its hard for even therapists to look passed the CP to recognize that mental issues are not related to CP. So all this is very frustrating. She may do better with an online therapist until she is ready to see one in person.

Edited to add: swimming has always help me with my BP and CP.

Thank you so much. I will pass along the CP info. As for swimming, she fell into a pool at day care when no one was looking. I don't think that is an option for now, but thanks.

How do you find an online therapist?

[AllyIsHopeful]

The most you could do is ask her if she'd be willing to give therapy a try. Don't tell her she needs it necessarily (speaking from experience. People told me this all the time and it made me more resistant to the idea.) but ask her to give it a try. Maybe specifically ask if she could try to stick it out for a month before ruling it out as an option.
Or maybe, since you share the same diagnosis, you could ask her to try family therapy with you? You two could have sessions together and maybe it will lead to the Therapist asking if she could have some individual time with each of you. That may be a good gateway for her to get some help.