[melania]

Weird situation, I asked my t to suggest me another t to talk about boundaries etc and he suggested me one but he's my mother's ex t. I told this to my t but he thinks it's normal and good that he knows my mother. I don't know is it really good? Any ideas?
He also was my t's teacher and I know his opinion about boundaries because he was my mother's t and he thought that even shaking hands is boundary crossing. Maybe my t wants me to talk to some who is fanatic about boundaries and not touching clients. It's not fair.

Also he suggested me to see his ex classmate as my psychiatrist, I had seen her one time and I didn't like her esspecially when I know she was my t's classmate.

He said he can talk to someone about me and my problems and how to help me, it was nice but I don't know why I said no.

At the end he wrote down two ts names and told me I can choose where to go.

For those who hope I'm leaving my t- no I'm not leaving.

[stopdog]

Could you find a consultant therapist without using the main one you see for referrals?

[melania]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Could you find a consultant therapist without using the main one you see for referrals?

He said I must see one who does the same therapy because boundaries can be different in other ways of therapy and the first reason I want to see another t is to understand boundaries better because it's a problem for me and my t

[HazelGirl]

I disagree with your T. Find one that YOU want to see, not one that he forces you to see.

[stopdog]

You don't have to obey him.

[melania]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

I disagree with your T. Find one that YOU want to see, not one that he forces you to see.

He didn't forse me to see one, I asked him for suggestion, I asked for his opinion. He even said that I can search on internet for therapists but I need someone who also is psychiatrist because I need medication but he doesn't want to prescribe me meds because I used to overdose it and his meds are personal for me and he afraids I could overdose it. I did it too many times.
I don't have pdoc, I take antidepressants which was prescribed by another doctor and my t thinks these meds don't help me at all, I'm crazy.

[sweepy62]

I agree find your own therapist and explain, that you are looking for help with boundaries.

[melania]

Originally Posted by stopdog

You don't have to obey him.

I know. But his opinion is important to me. And I want to obey him. Don't know why.

[melania]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

I agree find your own therapist and explain, that you are looking for help with boundaries.

Anyway- they all know each other

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by melania

He didn't forse me to see one, I asked him for suggestion, I asked for his opinion. He even said that I can search on internet for therapists but I need someone who also is psychiatrist because I need medication but he doesn't want to prescribe me meds because I used to overdose it and his meds are personal for me and he afraids I could overdose it. I did it too many times.
I don't have pdoc, I take antidepressants which was prescribed by another doctor and my t thinks these meds don't help me at all, I'm crazy.

It is fine to use recommendations, but from what I know it's not fine to use the same T your mom used. The T could have preconceived ideas about you already based on what he knows about your family. It's a conflict of interest. You need a T for advice on this situation from an objective point of view.

[nottrustin]

You should respect his opinion but ultimately do what you are most comfortable with. I know my T would refer you to somebody else if she had been your mom's T. It would be a conflict of interest for her.

My brother in law and his wife actually called T to set up an appointment. She asked me a few questions without telling me any names and know it was family so she referred them to somebody else.

[melania]

Originally Posted by Lauliza

It is fine to use recommendations, but from what I know it's not fine to use the same T your mom used. The T could have preconceived ideas about you already based on what he knows about your family. It's a conflict of interest. You need a T for advice on this situation from an objective point of view.

On one hand you are right but on other hand sometimes it seems that it's good that he knows all about my mother, she's not seeing him anymore for many years.

[melania]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

You should respect his opinion but ultimately do what you are most comfortable with. I know my T would refer you to somebody else if she had been your mom's T. It would be a conflict of interest for her.

My brother in law and his wife actually called T to set up an appointment. She asked me a few questions without telling me any names and know it was family so she referred them to somebody else.

After he suggested me my mother's t, I asked for some another ts and he said two names.
The fact is- I'm scared of therapists and I asked him to refer me to someone who is kind and good person.
Before I met my current t I saw for one time another therapist and she said I am stupid, didn't let me talk at all, said I am hopeless and therapy couldn't help me.
So I have really bad experience, that's why I asked for suggestion to him.