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#1
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I am considering asking my T if I could wear sunglasses because I think it would ease my anxiety about eye contact. Or maybe I would just feel a little ridiculous about it. But I thought I would ask if anyone here has tried it before, or is this a weird idea? If you've never tried it before, what other things in general have you asked to do to make yourself feel more comfortable in a session?
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![]() AllyIsHopeful
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![]() Aloneandafraid, brillskep
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#2
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Never wear sunglasses ever
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COVID-19 Survivor- 4/26/2022 |
![]() purplemystery
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#3
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I was in group therapy with a guy that wore them all the time; one of the therapists eventually made him take them off :-) Work to get over your anxiety, not hide behind it? Your therapist wants to see you so I kind of don't think they will give that up or what is their point in being there? How can they help you if they cannot see you?
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
![]() purplemystery
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#4
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My thought is that it might not really do a thing for the anxiety about eye contact because you really won't be aware of anything different because your eyes will adjust to them as if you don't have them on anyway. It's not like they'll block out your view of your T's eyes anyway, and like Perna said, your T would rather be able to see full facial expression, including the eyes.
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![]() purplemystery
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#5
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Yeah, I've worn them once. And she had me take them off within 2 minutes of walking in. Lol. Her first question was if I was on drugs and possibly using sunglasses to hide my eyes.
Don't do it. Lol. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
![]() purplemystery
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#6
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I finally learned to be halfway ok with my staring at my water bottle 90% of the time. I can only comfortably maintain eye contact when he's talking. Sunglasses would make me feel worse.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
As wolves love lambs so lovers love their loves - Socrates |
![]() purplemystery
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#7
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Thanks for your input, everyone! You have me convinced, haha. I'm trying to think of a ton of different ideas to help, but wearing sunglasses doesn't actually help with the real issue, so you're probably right.
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#8
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Hey there Purplemystery
I'm going to throw a completely different view on things...I wore them once, in a session with my T. I discussed it with her beforehand and it really helped. I was able to say some things I hadn't previously shared and after I had talked for a while I realised I actually didn't need them anymore. For me I think the big thing was giving myself permission to try it. Just letting myself do whatever felt right in that moment. For me at least it was a big step...I've never needed them again...all the best with whatever you decide ![]()
__________________
"To realise one's destiny is a person's only obligation" from the Alchemist |
![]() purplemystery
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#9
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Eye contact is problematic for me but not so much that I'm willing to try any tricks to get over it. A few months ago my T offered to play cards during our session but I declined. Is that a possibility?
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![]() purplemystery
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#10
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my T thinks im high if i wear sunglasses inside
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![]() purplemystery, Yogix
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#11
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I tend to just slide them ontop of my head. Wore them into stores before, this one time, clerk looked me in eye, as they were just lowered enough, goes back to the whole 'high' thing
![]() Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2 |
![]() purplemystery
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#12
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Eye contact is not a problem for me, sometimes I feel it creates a stronger bond and connection....BUT I have felt like, even considered, wearing sunglasses in sessions. Not so much to prevent eye contact, but to create an "invisible" feeling. I want to wear my hood and sunglasses and I don't want any questions. lol It would never go over well, but I still want that from time to time.
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![]() purplemystery
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#13
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My t has asked me if I wanted to wear sunglasses when things were difficult or also when I have a hard time with light sensitivity. It feels a bit too weird, but it does help when the light is too bright.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() purplemystery
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#14
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I can certainly relate to that. This is what I was going for- a simultaneous invisibility and way to break out of my fears. I thought it would be a good middleground. But I think it sounds better in theory because I'd probably just feel awkward about it, and I bet my T would be at least a little reluctant.
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![]() AllyIsHopeful
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#15
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Quote:
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#16
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Hi Mactastic. I have thought that playing some sort of game would probably help too- it would make me focus more on the game and less on feeling uncomfortable. So playing cards is a great suggestion, I just may talk with my T about that.
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#17
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If I thought it would help me, I would wear them and if the therapist objected I don't think it would make me take them off. I might tell the therapist why and say I wanted to experiment with it for a few weeks and we could revisit it. I rarely look at the therapist except when angry with her. I look off at a blank wall usually.
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Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
![]() purplemystery
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#18
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Quote:
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#19
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Now that I think about it, I think in my case it would be more helpful if my T wore the sunglasses. I could look at her, I wouldn't have to see her eyes, and she could still see my eyes. Everyone wins.
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![]() Nammu
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#20
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haha...I think it is a bit of a weird idea, but it's not completely crazy. I don't think it would be harmful to try. How do you feel when you wear sunglasses normally? Or when you're talking to someone wearing sunglasses?
I sometimes actually do find it a bit easier to hold some eye contact with certain people when I'm wearing sunglasses (usually with people I don't know well when there's not much of a natural conversation going), or maybe it's because there's not the same pressure to hold eye contact all the time when they can't see my eyes. But I sometimes find it somewhat unnerving and uncomfortable to talk to other people when they are wearing sunglasses and I can't see their eyes at all. I also prefer that we can both see each other's eyes when I'm talking to people I know well and am comfortable with. Otherwise it tends to feel like there's a bit of a barrier between us, but maybe that's what would help you to make eye contact in therapy... |
![]() purplemystery
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#21
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I think that sounds like a great idea if you have problems with eye contact ... first through sunglasses, then maybe at some point without them when you feel more comfortable. I love it, it's very creative and intelligent.
Personally I never tried. Not only has it not occurred to me before, but I genuinely feel comfortable with eye contact (and especially so with my therapist). But if I had trouble with it, I would definitely be willing to try this. |
![]() purplemystery
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