[HazelGirl]

Oh my gosh...

I am so anxious about my appointment today, as dumb as that sounds. I know we will be talking about my finances, and I know that it will probably dig into deep things I am scared of talking about. I am terrified of it.

Just wanted to get that out somewhere since I'm at work and trying to focus.

[sweepy62]

Good luck, I hope you could arrange something with her, so you wont, have to miss too sacrifice your therapy. I will be your pocket rider.

[AllyIsHopeful]

Sending positive vibes to you!
Just go with your instincts and try to give yourself what you feel you need. I know it's easier said than done...

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[BenjaminScott]

Hopping in your pocket!

[HazelGirl]

Thank you both. I can't believe this whole thing has been so stressful for me. It has been ridiculous!

[granite1]

good luck today .I hope it does not end up being as bad as you are anticipating

[Aloneandafraid]

Good luck HG. You can do it.

How did it go?

Hope you are less anxious now!

[Yearning0723]

Hope you're doing well after your appointment, HazelGirl. Sending hugs and warm wishes your way.

[HazelGirl]

I sort of shut down during the appointment. We talked about it, but she mostly talked at me, because I was very silent and couldn't talk a lot. I sort of felt forced into it, like even though I was expressing my fears and anxieties, she was saying "yeah, I understand...but we are still going to do this, right?". And that is making me even more anxious. I need to send her a text about that because right now, I don't feel like I have a real choice in the matter. And I do want the option to make my own decision and agree or disagree with her. Not having the choice makes me so afraid, and I feel like I will offend or hurt her if I say no now. So overall, I don't think it went very well. I felt heard, but I also felt like my fears were set aside instead of accepted and incorporated into her understanding of the situation.

[HazelGirl]

I did text her today and she apologized, and said she understood why I felt that way. She said she was trying to focus on me not feeling so guilty for it, but that she can see how I might have felt forced, and that I did have a choice and she would honor whatever I ended up choosing.

During our session, we were able to talk about some of my fears, why I have them and where they are coming from, so that's good. I still don't know what I am going to do, and I do still feel very anxious, but at least I think we're closer to being on the same page right now.