[someone321]

I don’t want to care…

Last time my T said that she is amazed (I think it was a different word but with a very similar meaning) that I care so much about the therapy, that I work so hard, I do whatever I can do to change blah blah blah…

And my immediate response was something like: “noooo, it’s not that I care, I don’t care but I do want I am supposed to do, that’s all”.


And that’s how I feel actually, like I come, do all homework, slowly change my thinking, implementing (or at least trying to) the knowledge and new skills in daily life but because I am supposed to do that not because I want it… And I even don’t know if I want it or not because I simply do not think about it… On the other hand, I’m “afraid” that I actually do care as I plan when I can go for holidays or meetings to not lose my sessions etc… And I somehow hate the fact that I care, as I wrote I do not want to care… I know that it is good to care but I find my reasons very immature, I should care for myself and not because I do what I am told to do…


Thus, my questions is, are you also a therapy hard-worker and why are you or aren't you?

[Auntie2014]

I see no point in therapy unless you are willing to "work" at it. Part of the "work" is learning new skills. Another part is understanding what role my life circumstances has played in how I do things or interact with other people and how I can change those things that to improve myself. In addition therapy has given me a "voice" to speak up for myself.

[stopdog]

I show up on time, pay, and leave on time. I try to tell the woman the sorts of things I think/have gleaned one is supposed to tell a therapist. I don't see the therapist as a teacher or a healer. I do try to do what it is I think is supposed to be done at therapy bearing in mind that I find the attempts of therapists to keep the whole thing mysterious to be not useful.

[Asiablue]

My therapists always go on about how great it is that i never miss sessions and that i'm so dedicated to getting thru it. And it's really confusing to me, cos do they get a lot of people not turning up for therapy? If people aren't taking it seriously then why they there?

[someone321]

Originally Posted by Asiablue

My therapists always go on about how great it is that i never miss sessions and that i'm so dedicated to getting thru it. And it's really confusing to me, cos do they get a lot of people not turning up for therapy? If people aren't taking it seriously then why they there?

Yes, I think it also confuses me, like stopdog has written, I also show up at every session, pay on time etc. I also make my own conclusions after each session and use some coping skills which my T suggests or tell her why I do not like them and will not use them or I tell her that I do not agree with something and why but I always thought that it is something very common and I just do not know why my T is "amazed" that I am so hard working - I just come and listen/talk

[Asiablue]

Next time she says something like that i might ask her what she means?

I made a decision to get through this crap and be able to move forward with my life, in a better place than I was. Thus, yes, I've consciously chose to be dedicated to learning and delving and evolving. Otherwise, all that time and money would just be wasted. Do I have times when I don't work as hard or as consciously? Sure, but inevitably, I'm still learning and growing despite myself.

[brillskep]

I wouldn't use the term "hard-worker" because I am laid-back about my therapy.

I certainly do take responsibility for changing and growing and learning. I have been doing all these things throughout the years I've been in therapy. I am very involved too and do my part.

Not sure it's about being 'a hard worker' as much as it is 'being fully engaged' with the process

[sweepy62]

Its so wierd my t compliments me on not missing sessions, being on time, and trying my best to participate in sessions. I thought this was normal. She told she understands days where im upset that I need a push, or I shutdown, but its due to the topic, an she expects that early in the relationship.

[PeeJay]

I have never gotten feedback on whether or not I am working hard. Other than once, when she was saying how my journey will include accepting certain things as inevitable and unchangeable. And I said, "How do I do that?" And she said, "You're doing it! Right now! This isn't easy."

That was a relief to hear.

If it were a class, you could say that I am trying to obtain an "A," or high marks, in therapy.

I'm not sure how one obtains an "A" in therapy. I think I will ask my therapist to give me a grade the next time I see her. And I will ask her what I need to do to get an "A" in therapy.

It will be interesting to see what she says.

[pinkbutterfly]

I am a therapy hard-worker...she told me today that she's really proud of how hard I have been working lately, and that I am making a lot of progress. And she reminded me that while she's not going to push me farther than I feel safe going, we're going to keep chipping away at stuff.
This therapy stuff is hard work...

Yes i work hard in therapy.