Maternal transference ... with teacher?

Most of you would know that I have maternal transference for my T, which we have discussed (though not in-depth). Mostly it's just longing for her to nurture me, take care of me, hug me and love me like a daughter.
And now, it's directed at my English teacher ... ?

I'm not lying in bed at night dreaming of being her daughter, nor am I collapsing into tears at the mere thought of her abandoning me. BUT I did have a dream the other night where she comforted me over the fact she wasn't my mother and couldn't hug me, love me, etc. And I enjoy speaking to her at college purely because she's a wonderfully intelligent woman, and I hope to be like that [her] one day. She knows of my depression and AN (though we've never discussed it), and we have a friendly teacher-student relationship.

Is this transference? Obviously we transfer feelings in all our relationships, not just the therapeutic one. Am I maybe reading too much into it? I don't want to experience the same heart-breaking, earth-shattering feelings I have with the therapeutic transference ... god, I can't go through that again.

You know your daughter's college English prof? How did that come about? It is unusual for parents to have contact with college professors much less know them that well. Usually students only deal with college instructors directly and parents stay hands off.

it does sound like transference, it's not limited to the therapeutic relationship!
Some people say that we keep repeating the same patterns until we learn what we need to to be able to resolve the problem. It's a painful lesson

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No, I AM the student.

Sorry. Misread. Too early still.

It definitely is not as unusual as it once was.

OP - people get crushes - maternal, paternal and otherwise on their professors all the time.
It need not be a horrible thing.

I think it's very normal and human to want to be taken care of, comforted, and loved like you were someone's child.

For me, what determines transference vs 'real' feelings is how much I know the other person. My T reveals very little, so the intense feelings I feel for him at times have no base other than the fact that he listens, and he's caring and gentle. I think the intense feelings also come from the crazy amount of exposing, sharing and relief associated with therapy.

That said I think it's very possible to develop intense non-transference feelings for your therapist too though - like if your therapist reveals a lot, you have a lot in common, etc. Such a connection would happen outside of therapy, so that confuses things a bit.

Anyway, that's just my 2 cents. Feelings are difficult regardless...

I have definitely felt this before, withoutthelove.

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I would say yes its transference. Transference is when we take emotions that we have about someone else, in this case your mother, and put them on to another person. Transference doesn't just happen in therapy, it can happen in any relationship. Therapy is just particularly prone to the phenomenon because you don't know very much about the therapist, so they are kind of like a blank slate that you wind up putting all your feelings onto. Teachers are similar so the same thing can happen easily. In fact I've had more transference with teachers than with therapists.

((((((((without)))))))) I find myself in exactly the same position, and yes, I identify it as being transference. Message me if you ever want to chat.. I understand how unbelievably difficult this can be

The bottom line is that we are always seeking something from our significant relationships with situations and people. A relationship is significant if we are continuously motivated to maintain it and engage with it. So, we can call it transference, projection or anything else, but that name is not the important thing. The important thing to understand is what you are seeking from this relationship with your teacher, and whether your expectations are realistic or could lead to emotional pain later on.

Whether you are bringing something from your past to the relationship is not critical to understand. Knowing where a need originated won't help you resolve your current distress over not having it fulfilled in the present tense. The desire or need is here now, regardless of its original source. I've learned from past psychoanalysis that knowing why I'm needy for something does not diminish the need. And much of the time, even after going through psychoanalysis, we don't really know why we are needy for something in particular. At best, we can make educated guesses at it. However, the reality is that there are many emotional imprints from the past within us, and sometimes they form into complexes or clusters that try to work together. Being drawn to your teacher may represent a cluster of different needs seeking resolution. There may be some maternal stuff there, but it could be disguising other needs as well.

Anyway, my response here probably isn't very helpful, but I thought I should share my thoughts. It is all just my opinion though and the result of my own personal experiences with myself.

I totally get it...i was like this with my high school spanish teacher.