when T does everything right, but you are ho-hum about living

.
If you are ambivalent about living, how do you get invested in therapy?
I have one thing I count on to keep me going.... when it goes away, I really won't care about life.

I often wonder if I am just wasting money that could be left to some charity.
My T is good, seems to be doing everything right.... but if you are just waiting to die, can therapy really help?

I show up to my appointments, I try to talk.... but I don't see it changing how I feel.
I even stopped talking about wanting to die with my T because it seemed pointless. My feelings were not changing and T does not really care.

Anyone really have therapy help them want to live?

I am sorry you are feeling so down

I don' think therapy alone can make somebody who is depressed want to live. Sounds more like a biochemistry issue that needs to be treated with medications before therapy will be able to be successful

This is a topic I can't pass up on. Because I don't get the choice any more whether I live or die - and yes, I want to live!
And yes, therapy does definitely help me want to live even more. I have grown so much, my life could be amazing if I had the chance now.

Perhaps I can not relate well to people who feel they don't want to live and I am always so heartbroken to read when someone can not find enough things in this life to hold it precious, so excuse me if my response is not very helpful.
I just feel I want to tell you how precious life can be, how amazing it is to wake up with a purpose, healthy and with choices.
You say your feelings are not changing in therapy - but would you like them to change? Do you have hope that they can change?

Why are you just waiting to die? Do you have absolutely nothing that keeps you interested in life? Does anything make you happy?

Perhaps things are not changing because you don't have hope. Or because you don't believe things or feelings can change. You are young, you are able, you have so much life ahead of you. And yes, things can change. Life is absolutely worth living and I would give everything to live!
Perhaps medication would be a good idea for you, because it seems it is impossible for you to get out of your depression by yourself or with only your therapist as help.

Amelia

I too don't see the therapists as caring one way or the other, even though I think they say they do. For me, I believe everyone is going to die from something. Sometimes when is more known for some people and some people take more control over quitting. I think life is just filling in time between birth and death with no greater meaning than what one makes of it. I don't see life as infused with intrinsic meaning, but there are ways for people to convince themselves it has meaning at the moment for them. Also, sometimes, from reports, drugs help people feel better enough to get out of the slump.

I can relate, emptyspace. Life is pretty meaningless on the whole, and being young and seeing the yawning abyss of empty years ahead is so hard.

However, I think that therapy can improve things - it has for me anyway. Although it can't provide meaning (since there is no inherent meaning, it is obvious that therapy cannot provide it!), it can make life more interesting and make it possible to go on living with more enjoyment of the process. And I definitely second the medication suggestion. We are biological creatures, and all our emotions are nothing but chemical and electrical reactions in our brains and nervous systems, so it stands to reason that chemical imbalances cause mood slumps.

I think it's better not to think about the meaninglessness. It is what it is, and nothing can change it.

I do have experience of therapy making me feel better, which has created more purpose to my life (since it has enabled me to work more.)

I think it just takes time. I suspect you wouldn't bother showing up at all if you had absolutely no reason to continue. Can you focus on the things you might be able to contribute to the world in the future if you remain alive?

I dare you to give this to your therapist and see what she says about the "does not really care" statement.

I did this too at one point. In retrospect I wish I would have talked to her about it more. It's impossible for a T to just give you a will to live, but they could help you feel less alone in the feeling of pointlessness, and possibly give you some ideas for how to work towards feeling differently.

My therapist helped me figure out which life changes would get me to a point where life felt worth living again.

I hope you feel better. Everyone needs coping resources to get through life in this crazy world and a therapist can be an excellent coping resource.

I had planned my death seventeen years ago. I put it off for eighteen years to raise a kid. I couldn't think about how mean and cruel that would be to him during those years. It bought me 18 years to raise him to an adult. Luckily, I found a therapist that taught that helped me see it was the emotional pain that I wanted to kill off, not myself. I am enjoying life to the hilt, and not that everything is perfect, but I have learned to stop and take in the beauty of life. Hang in there - life - and maybe you can look for a therapist that cares, until you can do it on your own. I rooting for you.