Session today

So I just quickly want to share my session today. It was an emotional session and I realized I had to review something that I have said in here before.
But let me start at the beginning.
We started out talking about the weekend (I hadn't see her for a few days but we stayed in touch every day). I told her about my Easter Sunday and so on.
We talked about something I had written her in an email and laughed about taste in men
I am very exhausted today and so it took me a while to get some words out but we really had great chat.
Halfway through the session she just reached for my hand and held it firmly. I don't know why she did it but it seemed so calming and I just enjoyed the peaceful feeling.
We kept on talking and at some point I needed a break, I was getting really exhausted. I asked her to do an imagery exercise with me and she did, one of the best ones she ever did. She didn't talk like she normally does in the "You can see the ocean" but she said: "We are at the ocean, sitting side by side."
I only registered it halfway into the whole thing that she was there with me.
But the exercise made me fall asleep - AGAIN
But I woke quickly and we chatted a bit more. At the end of the session she said: "I really want to say something and I want to say it out loud - I love you. I really love you. And forgive me if this is not the most professional thing to say but you have become so very important to me and you deserve to know how I feel about you."
All this time she held my hand in both of her hands and looked straight at me.
I have to say it was an overwhelming moment. It brought sudden healing, sudden peace and tranquility. I don't know how to describe it better.

A while ago when I made the thread asking if your T has ever told you "I love you" it was my firm conviction that I would not want my T to tell me these words. Today my view has changed. And I told her out loud: "I love you too." and it made her cry. Just as it made me cry when she said it. Somehow I am glad I was proven wrong in this powerful way.

What a wonderful session!

Beautiful!

Sounds like a wonderful session

I'm glad you were wrong

I'm so, so glad for you for having such an incredible session! I find it difficult to even imagine how wonderful it must have felt.

I'm very glad your roads met and that she chose to be there with you. You are both amazing human beings.
((Hugs)) for you and ((hugs)) for your T

That sounds so personal to me, like something you would only say to someone you are very close to. I once had a friend who would say that to me, in a close dear friend kind of way. Unfortunately we are no longer friends because I drove her away with all my negativity. I didn't think therapy was supposed to be so close and personal like that. Mine is not that way. I've not been in therapy long and have only had one therapist, the one I have now. I like my therapist, but I know she's not a friend and wouldn't think she would say something like that to me. Guess I'm still new to all this stuff. I'm glad it was a good experience for you.

This is not typical therapy relationship. The situation AmysJourney and her therapist are in is quite different and that is why the relationship is more intense and personal.

Yes, you are right, it's very personal. And the funny thing is that up until a few weeks ago I would have been convinced that I wouldn't ever want to hear my therapist say that to me.
I respect the therapy-client boundaries a lot.
I guess, in my situation the boundaries have lowered a lot because there is a definite end to this. My therapist constantly tells me that she is seeking guidance from her supervisor and other colleagues who are working with terminally ill clients. It seems what she is doing is not so unusual. She told me a therapist she knows sat for two days and two nights with a dying patient and that it was a profound experience for him. My therapist doesn't sit with me for days but whenever she sees me, we just connect on a strangely personal level.
I still don't know sometimes, how to respond to it. I really have to make myself vulnerable to be able to accept the closeness and I have to cast aside everything I thought about being strong and determined and independent. I am not independent any more and I hate it!
I can look at my situation from two angles: Either I give in to all the feelings of sadness, fear, pain, depression and anger OR I try to count my blessings at this stage, which are: Having someone who is here when I need it, being loved and cared for, being able to have conversations with people here, being financially stable to pay for therapy and doctor's cost, living with awesome people etc.
I think when I have these two choices, I have to chose the second angle. And I think that makes it possible for me to gradually accept what my therapist is offering me.