Going Dancing With T

Sooo, this just happened, T asked me to go dancing with her, like ballroom dancing. Ive never been so I said yes, and im alittle worried how odd this is and will be. But since I love spending time with her, this will be awesome in a way!

How fun!!! My t and i went ice skating and went out to lunch/dinner a few times while she was here visiting and we had a great time. Let us know how it goes

Wow......I wish my T would ask me to do something outside the therapy room. He would get to see a different side of me.

That's interesting, normally I would probably say a boundary crossing but I think that in your case it is something Therapeutic for you.

That's awesome, I hope you have a great time! Ballroom dancing is a lot of fun.

I would like to date T as well

IDK, maybe I'm missing stg but I do struggle to see any therapeutic value of going ball dancing with your T...
For me, this would be crossing a boundary- plus raising tons of questions.... how (much) she's charging for this?

Hmm, I don't know what to say. Unless you're in a very specific situation which requires something like this, this sounds like too much and like it's encouraging transference and boundary crossing in a non-therapeutic way. There are plenty of ways most issues could be dealt with that don't involve going to a ballroom dance with your therapist, so I find this to be a questionable offer. Plus you say it might feel odd to you as well. I wonder if you feel like your own boundaries are being crossed by this invitation. I want to mention, I'm really not one against out of session contact or flexible boundaries and atypical approaches in therapy. It's just that this sounds unnecessarily personal to me. Maybe it's just me. Then, you posted the update, so I thought I'd post my thoughts, in case something might prove useful to you.

The only reason I find this a bit worrying is because in most of your threads you talk about how strong your transference is with your T, how you sometimes go crazy over her and how you can't stop thinking about her. Now she "rewarded" you with a visit at your work and then she invited you to go dancing with her. I don't see how this can be helpful to you when you struggle so much with the transference anyway.
But then, that's just me and who I am to talk really?
I just hope all this is not hurting you more.

Have an awesome time! And I hope you get lots out of it in whatever way that does your heart most good.

Its free! Im pretty sure its not therapeutic dancing, its something that T enjoys and thought I needed to get out more and do something I enjoy, so she just offered I come and try it.

That's the only thing that is unclear to me, she is aware how I feel about her, yet she asked me. I do have strong transference with her and im sure this will only make it stronger, but at the same time I don't care, its like 4 hours I get to spend with her and act like myself which is a side she doesn't see often. I think she may be wanting me to loosen up and just have fun. She also offered to drive me tonight, which is also weird. But im excited!

Plus I would not consider the ballroom dancing place a full public setting (since everyone is there for a specific reason) so contact beyond just a hello is appropriate in my opinion. Its sort of like a social gathering. I just hope you are not driving to it together (I think that is a clear boundary violation in this circumstance).

I worry that your T is using you to meet her own emotional needs. I imagine that it can feel quite intoxicating to be the object of intense transferential love, appreciation and idealization. To me, it doesn't sound like your T is doing a good enough job keeping the therapeutic relationship safe and boundaried. Sure you might need to get out and sure ballroom dancing can be a lot of fun but IMHO the therapeutic relationship is where you explore how you can build the life you want to have. It's not T's job to build it for you.

If you wanted a romantic partner in life would T become that just to "help" you?

But if the dancing is Therapeutic than I don't see anything wrong with it.

It went well! I was impressed by how well my T could dance. But I will be honest, the next time I see her in the office, I will only picture her dancing. And she wanted to come dancing again, so I think im going to say yes again. Pretty sure shes just trying to get me out of my comfort zone and just try something new. There was no touching between T and I, no we did not dance together. But she did give me her phone to look up something and our hands touched briefly. I felt weird having her phone and she just got up and danced and left me with her phone! Also she paid for my ticket, but I paid her back.

Well she offered to drive me, so yes were in the same car, but we did nothing besides talk about dancing.

Interesting, well whatever you both want to do (as some people know there are some scenarios where I believe that driving together is appropriate although I really don't see this as one, but if both of you think it is than I am OK with it)

That sounds great, honestly even if you danced together I would not have seen it as a boundary crossing in this circumstance.

I'm glad it went well. But in my opinion, this is NOT therapy- she should be encouraging you to go out with your friends (if you want to) not take you out herself- I'd worry that this is making you more dependent on her and feeding into your, already existing, transference
Hope she knows what she's doing and not meeting her needs via her clients- be safe

Sometimes though it is good to do social things with the Therapist, to help you in social situations in the future.

Something doesn't seem right. How is this therapeutic for you? Did you ask her? Who is this going benefit the most, her or you? I understand you're on cloud nine about it but be cautious, you could get hurt badly.

I think my T is great and we have a lot in common but ,as much as I would love to be his friend (I even fantasize about it), it isn't going to happen and I'm glad. I want the strict boundaries because if I don't have them therapy would fail and I'd be more confused than ever. My T obviously knows this too. I don't even want him to touch me...lol.

I think its great that you two went out. My t and i have a lot of fun today and its also really good for me. Even when we go out to have fun i still learn a lot from her. And sometimes we just need to take a break and do something fun to forget all the trauma stuff we work on all the time.

Ok, I asked her about it and she said it was part of my therapeutic plan, that is of doing more socially. She said it wasn't breaking any ethics codes. I did not ask her about the car ride we took. So she may or may not be lying to cover up just wanting to spend time with me, I will never know and I can live with that. Yes I have already been hurt because I know even if we are to be friends, we will never be anything else. Of course the more I am with her the more I have intense feeling about her. She also invited me to go to a concert in a few months that is like 2 hrs away. But I guess that could also "help" me in being more social since there will be four of us going.

I think this is a clear boundary crossing.