[BlessedRhiannon]

I've been thinking about something and want some feedback.

A couple weeks ago, I shared with T some things I had written when I was at a really low point. We talked about how I'd been feeling when I'd done the writing, and how she wished I'd felt like I could reach out to her in the midst of that, instead of waiting as I did. We came up with a plan that when I was feeling that way again, I should text T just a single word which meant "I'm feeling all that crap we talked about." T insisted that it was okay that I text her at any time, with the understanding that she may not be able to answer right away, but would respond as soon as she saw the text, and ask if she could call me. My T manages her time by turning off or putting away her cell phone after hours and checks it when she feels she's in a space to respond to clients. I understand this and respect it. I do the same - turn off or just put away my cell and don't respond when I am not emotionally available to do so.

Now that we've come up with this plan, I feel a strong need to test it. To see if T really will respond. To see if I really can text her at a time when I would normally have these feelings (weekends, late at night, etc). I know, intellectually, that she will respond, but emotionally, I feel like I need proof by doing a test run. I feel foolish asking for a test run. I don't want to intentionally put myself in the emotional state that we designed this process for - it happens enough without me intentionally bringing it about. I don't want to use this process when it's not really needed.

I suppose the best thing is to just talk to T about wanting to test our process and make sure I really can send her a text without all my "rules" getting in the way and that she really will respond. I'm just afraid to bring it up, I guess. It was hard enough to bring this up once and set up this process. Not sure I can build up the courage to do it again.

[HazelGirl]

You could definitely talk to your T, or promise yourself to test it once you're feeling that way at some point in the future.

[nottrustin]

I think you should talk to her about your concerns. Maybe talk to her about what boundaries she might have as far as the weekend and late at night. I don't think I would want to test her as it would seem like "crying wolf"...

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

I think you should talk to her about your concerns. Maybe talk to her about what boundaries she might have as far as the weekend and late at night. I don't think I would want to test her as it would seem like "crying wolf"...

We already talked about the weekend/late night boundaries. I told her I would not send a text at that time. T said she absolutely DOES want me to send a text, as long as I understand that I might not get an immediate response. If I feel that not getting an immediate response might be an issue, then I should hold off texting until the next morning. I'm okay with the delay, I understand and accept that she can't always respond right away. It's more my issues around feeling like I'm intruding. T insists I'm not intruding and this isn't something I should wait on.

Yeah - testing would seem like crying wolf and that's why I won't do it, but I really, really want to anyway!!!!!

[Perna]

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

I suppose the best thing is to just talk to T about wanting to test our process and make sure I really can send her a text without all my "rules" getting in the way and that she really will respond. I'm just afraid to bring it up, I guess. It was hard enough to bring this up once and set up this process. Not sure I can build up the courage to do it again.

I would simplify the process for yourself by sending her a text saying this So, instead of talking about sending her a practice text and then sending a practice text, you send her a practice text telling her it is a practice text and telling her you want to discuss it next session (which will give you your support from her before next session which will make "courage" to talk about it not as great a requirement anymore because it will have happened already).

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

We already talked about the weekend/late night boundaries. I told her I would not send a text at that time. T said she absolutely DOES want me to send a text, as long as I understand that I might not get an immediate response. If I feel that not getting an immediate response might be an issue, then I should hold off texting until the next morning. I'm okay with the delay, I understand and accept that she can't always respond right away. It's more my issues around feeling like I'm intruding. T insists I'm not intruding and this isn't something I should wait on.

Yeah - testing would seem like crying wolf and that's why I won't do it, but I really, really want to anyway!!!!!

I definitely understand the intruding part. I deal with this all the time..even when T says I will be home this weekend so call if you need to.

[Aloneandafraid]

This is amazing support. You are so lucky to have a T who encourages you to reach out when you need to in this way. I understand your need to test too. Just wanted to say how fortunate you are - I wish I had this. Especially tonight. Xx

[BonnieJean]

When my t gave me her cell phone number in case of 'emergencies' I wanted to test it. So we planned a time that I'd call and leave her a voice mail as a test. She called me back and we'd completed the test. I've never actually had to use it but I know it is still there...