[growlycat]

I had one of those therapy sessions today where I feel CBT T has taken away the opposite meaning from what I've been trying to convey

such as--

me: last week's assignment was helpful
him: you said last week's assignment wasn't helpful so I wasn't going to repeat it next week
me: huh?

me: I find coming here useful even though my progress is stalled
him: You've gotten worse since starting with me? (laughs)
me: er, no

me: I dread small talk with coworkers
him: you dread seeing me and wonder what I'll make you do next
me: what??

Worst thing is I think that I am somehow conveying the opposite of what I feel and that is what he is picking up on

How have you all found a way to be better understood by your T when wires are seriously crossed?

[Depletion]

Wow sounds like your T was having a bad day. I'm sorry I bet that was a really frustrating appointment. I hope you didn't have anything that was a really big deal to talk about. I know that if I was really anxious about something those kinds of confusions would really irritate me.

Did you get through with any of your corrections? If not you might bring it up next time, or i you don't think its a big deal you could just let it go unless there's a pattern. I guess it just depends on if it happens a lot or if it had an effect on you being able to discuss something important.

[tametc]

Originally Posted by growlycat

I had one of those therapy sessions today where I feel CBT T has taken away the opposite meaning from what I've been trying to convey

such as--

me: last week's assignment was helpful
him: you said last week's assignment wasn't helpful so I wasn't going to repeat it next week
me: huh?

me: I find coming here useful even though my progress is stalled
him: You've gotten worse since starting with me? (laughs)
me: er, no

me: I dread small talk with coworkers
him: you dread seeing me and wonder what I'll make you do next
me: what??

Worst thing is I think that I am somehow conveying the opposite of what I feel and that is what he is picking up on

How have you all found a way to be better understood by your T when wires are seriously crossed?

Can you print this out and show it to him?

[HazelGirl]

Wow. That seems horribly unattuned

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by Depletion

Did you get through with any of your corrections? If not you might bring it up next time, or i you don't think its a big deal you could just let it go unless there's a pattern. I guess it just depends on if it happens a lot or if it had an effect on you being able to discuss something important.

I tried to get through those corrections but I felt like I was making it worse!
I'm going to try to bring it up next time. It hasn't been a huge pattern, but it sometimes happens.

thanks!!!

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by tametc

Can you print this out and show it to him?

I know, right? The answer comes down to "talk about it"---but usually that IS the right way to go.

I'll try again next time!!

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

Wow. That seems horribly unattuned

He usually isn't this "off". Odd thing is, today's session was at least in part practical and useful. He also has a habit of showing his engagement level by "leaning in" physically.

He does try. This was a very unattuned session, but not for a lack of trying on both sides. Thankfully, this wasn't an intense session. More day to day juggling issues.

[Wren_]

usually when i've noticed a T's wires getting that badly crossed (instead of it being the other way around which is more common ) it has been because they are either sick, greatly worried over something or overly tired; is this unusual for your T or have you been having a lot of sessions where he is hearing things so differently to what you are saying

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

is this unusual for your T or have you been having a lot of sessions where he is hearing things so differently to what you are saying

This has been the most noticeable rift so far---I'm really hoping it is an off day or something!!

My worry is that I'm somehow contributing to this---every time I tried to clarify what I meant, it was only making it worse!

I'm not worried about the overall T relationship yet.

Thanks!!!

[Wren_]

it does sound like a really off day; i hope that is all and that you work things out better next session ... difficult for you though

[tametc]

It does make me wonder if he's OK physically. Or if his hearing is deteriorating. When my T started showing initial signs of Parkinson's dementia, he was "off" in little, everday things, yet still managed to do good therapy. He did tell me I could always ask him about anything that bothered me, and/or I could talk to one of his colleagues and let them know what was going on.