Today was the hardest session I have ever had. I admitted that I am feeling very lonely lately and that I just want a good mother to look after me.
T asked how it felt to be so vulnerable with her and I said that it was scary for me. I told her that I just needed my ex when I felt this bad, I needed some reassurance from my ex. T then asked me to look at her and I couldn't because I felt ashamed. She asked me again to look at her. I glanced up and she said how would it be to let her be my support and my significant other. She said a significant other didn't have to intimate or sexual but just someone who could be there and relied on when I needed that reassurance.
I think I disassociated but I didn't realise because she asked me could I see her, I couldn't, she asked me to look around the room and describe what I saw. I felt dizzy, she gave me a glass of water and asked me to stomp my feet. I didn't really know why but me be because I disassociated.
It was a very hard session

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Asiablue]

What do you feel about her being your significant other?

Sorry you had a rough session. I did too if it's any consolation.

Sorry you had a hard session too you want to talk about it ?
I don't know about the significant other, it scares me, she scares me

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Asiablue]

What scares you about her?

She gets too close

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Asiablue]

emotionally? In what way does she get too close, what does she do?

[HazelGirl]

Is it because of something your ex did or because of being so vulnerable? I know I dissociate when I am too vulnerable, and I end up feeling like I am floating in a fog.

She goes too deep and touches all my nerves about my mother and my loneliness... I always come out feeling so understood but so messed up!
She goes right into my soul and there is no escaping her probing

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Asiablue]

Pretty overwhelming when you're finally "seen" huh?

Exactly, she is great, so why do I want to run away and never go back! She is everything I have been looking for in a t. She is really there for me like no one else has been

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Raging Quiet]

It sounds like you've had some breakthroughs?

My husband usually says there are 3 people in our marriage.. (Inc. T)

[rainbow8]

I'm sorry your session was so hard. What is this t's orientation? To me, she sounds good. You could tell her to slow down a little maybe. I forgot. You haven't seen her for very long, right?

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

Is it because of something your ex did or because of being so vulnerable? I know I dissociate when I am too vulnerable, and I end up feeling like I am floating in a fog.

It's a bit of both, I was never aware of disassociating before, I was scary

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by Raging Quiet

It sounds like you've had some breakthroughs?

My husband usually says there are 3 people in our marriage.. (Inc. T)

Your husband is very wise I have had a lot with this t, just because she understands me

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I'm sorry your session was so hard. What is this t's orientation? To me, she sounds good. You could tell her to slow down a little maybe. I forgot. You haven't seen her for very long, right?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by Raging Quiet

It sounds like you've had some breakthroughs?

My husband usually says there are 3 people in our marriage.. (Inc. T)

Your husband is very wise I have had a lot with this t, just because she understands me

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I'm sorry your session was so hard. What is this t's orientation? To me, she sounds good. You could tell her to slow down a little maybe. I forgot. You haven't seen her for very long, right?

I have seen her for three months. Her orientation is gestalt! Thanks for the hugs rainbow, I always love them


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Asiablue]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Exactly, she is great, so why do I want to run away and never go back! She is everything I have been looking for in a t. She is really there for me like no one else has been

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'm guessing because it's new, because you have no blueprint for this type of relationship, because she touches your sore bits, because she sees you in a way you've never been seen before. All that is huge! And terrifying.

[tametc]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Today was the hardest session I have ever had. I admitted that I am feeling very lonely lately and that I just want a good mother to look after me.
T asked how it felt to be so vulnerable with her and I said that it was scary for me. I told her that I just needed my ex when I felt this bad, I needed some reassurance from my ex. T then asked me to look at her and I couldn't because I felt ashamed. She asked me again to look at her. I glanced up and she said how would it be to let her be my support and my significant other. She said a significant other didn't have to intimate or sexual but just someone who could be there and relied on when I needed that reassurance.
I think I disassociated but I didn't realise because she asked me could I see her, I couldn't, she asked me to look around the room and describe what I saw. I felt dizzy, she gave me a glass of water and asked me to stomp my feet. I didn't really know why but me be because I disassociated.
It was a very hard session

My former T, without actually saying it, did become the one person on whom I could rely. He was available by phone pretty much any time, and I did rely on him a lot for several years of the toughest part of my healing. I absolutely trusted him, and I will be forever grateful for what he gave to me.

T having you look around the room, sip some water, and stomp your feet, are all ways of grounding yourself, so I am sure she is going to help you when you dissociate.

Please be gentle with yourself. Sometimes we need a little "intensive care" after tough sessions.

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

I glanced up and she said how would it be to let her be my support and my significant other. She said a significant other didn't have to intimate or sexual but just someone who could be there and relied on when I needed that reassurance.

My therapist didn't say anything like that, but yours is describing exactly what my therapist did. I didn't ask for it, but she voluntarily stepped into that role when she decided it was what I needed. I will be forever grateful, because that process set in motion the healing.. my restoration.

Originally Posted by Asiablue

Pretty overwhelming when you're finally "seen" huh?

Truer words were never spoken those....

[blur]

mona, i think you are being really brave to stick it out with gestalt T. it sounds hard but very helpful. yes, let her be a support for you.

[rainbow8]

I was in a group with a gestalt T years ago. I liked her a lot, and saw her individually a few times. She was "right there" with me, kind of like my T is now.
Gestalt focuses on the "here and now", doesn't it? I actually remember holding someone's hand in the group, and talking about my Mom. It was very powerful! I think gestalt will be good for you.

[Jdog123]

My T has said something similar and acts this way. She called it "someone to witness your life," in that I tell her sometimes small things about my day that I have no one else to tell them to and she supports me for little and big bumps. When she first said this it was a little scary because she said that the people whom she does this for are her husband and her elderly mother (who has since passed away). So it was both amazing and scary to be among these other two people in her life whom she clearly has much stronger/deeper and 2-way relationships with.

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by tametc

My former T, without actually saying it, did become the one person on whom I could rely. He was available by phone pretty much any time, and I did rely on him a lot for several years of the toughest part of my healing. I absolutely trusted him, and I will be forever grateful for what he gave to me.

Please be gentle with yourself. Sometimes we need a little "intensive care" after tough sessions.

Another thought about this subject... therapists becoming a rock we tether ourselves to... what it did for me, is it 'taught' me how to be that for my 'real life" relationships. What my therapist has given me over the years, is a healthy template.. a pattern... that built the scaffolding for me of how I can nurture my important relationships. She did it by 'being' that for me.

What a Gift!

[Leah123]

Originally Posted by Jdog123

My T has said something similar and acts this way. She called it "someone to witness your life," in that I tell her sometimes small things about my day that I have no one else to tell them to and she supports me for little and big bumps. When she first said this it was a little scary because she said that the people whom she does this for are her husband and her elderly mother (who has since passed away). So it was both amazing and scary to be among these other two people in her life whom she clearly has much stronger/deeper and 2-way relationships with.

That reminds me of my relationship with my T also, thank you for sharing.

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Today was the hardest session I have ever had. I admitted that I am feeling very lonely lately and that I just want a good mother to look after me.
T asked how it felt to be so vulnerable with her and I said that it was scary for me. I told her that I just needed my ex when I felt this bad, I needed some reassurance from my ex. T then asked me to look at her and I couldn't because I felt ashamed. She asked me again to look at her. I glanced up and she said how would it be to let her be my support and my significant other. She said a significant other didn't have to intimate or sexual but just someone who could be there and relied on when I needed that reassurance.
I think I disassociated but I didn't realise because she asked me could I see her, I couldn't, she asked me to look around the room and describe what I saw. I felt dizzy, she gave me a glass of water and asked me to stomp my feet. I didn't really know why but me be because I disassociated.
It was a very hard session

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

This is what my therapist said to me. I am so happy for yowl Best wishes to you monalisasmile.