[granite1]

there isn't much I need to try and remember about this session either. I really wanted to talk to her so bad but it just was not going to happen. I remember this desperation from the past . wanting so badly to tell her what was going on, how scared I was again. so much was running in my head and then I would completely check out. she would keep making a noise like creaking her chair or clearing her voice. it made me jump out of my skin but at least I felt she was there for better or worse. she asked me what was on my mind and I wanted to scream but at the same time I was relieved that she at least saw me at that point I resigned myself to the fact that I was not going to be able to talk today and it had to be ok. she asked again if I wanted to try and talk about what I am finding so hard to say. her saying that simple thing made a world of difference .isn't that pathetic. I knew I was not going to be able to say anything but I felt at least she was there. I couldn't really respond much but I asked her if she was going to be there next week. she said of course she was and wanted to know why I asked. I could only say that maybe next week will be better. she said that she wished that I wouldn't leave being so frustrated, then she corrected herself saying that she was not sure what was going on but she wanted to be able to help me get to the bottom of it if at all possible . at that I seemed to break some and I felt so horrible that I just couldn't open up but I was able to say again maybe next week will be better.

I don't know how but maybe it will.

[Leah123]

I've had those sessions and hated them. I hope you'll be kind and gentle with yourself, and do whatever you can to help yourself feel safe and comfortable. Indulge in something you enjoy, remind yourself you deserve to be happy.

She will be there next week and if you want to talk about something, you can, even if it's just a tiny, easy topic so you feel settled while talking to help you get comfortable again.

[blur]

things sound really hard for you right now. i hope they get much easier very soon. take care, precious one.

[granite1]

Originally Posted by Leah123

I've had those sessions and hated them. I hope you'll be kind and gentle with yourself, and do whatever you can to help yourself feel safe and comfortable. Indulge in something you enjoy, remind yourself you deserve to be happy.

She will be there next week and if you want to talk about something, you can, even if it's just a tiny, easy topic so you feel settled while talking to help you get comfortable again.

I am very numb right now but yes I do know she will be there next week and I am trying to be ok if I don't want to talk and if I do . I kind of got over this before by just relaxing about it

[Aloneandafraid]

Take good care of yourself, Granite. Thinking of you.

[sweepy62]

Its ok also to have one of those sessions, she acknowledged your frustration and discomfort, silence speaks a thousand words, you were able to let those feelings flow in the room, she captured them, it was not a wasted session. You realized that maybe next session you will do better, so yo have hope, and are looking foward to next week. If it should happen again, its ok, you are sitting there with your feelings and your t is attuned with them.

[CantExplain]

((Granite))

[JustShakey]

I know the feeling, I told T once that I wished I had a USB port for my brain. It would make therapy so much easier... it'll be okay, it will.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

hugs to you sweet granite...

[unaluna]

For a while i had appointments two days in a row, and i swear the best part was just getting to say, "see you TOMORROW!" T would say it too, and we would laugh like a couple of idiot kids. Sometimes therapy is like being drunk or high. Otherwise seemingly stupid things can take on huge import, but i think thats our brain at play, which i believe is how it heals, if you let it. If you let it make those connections.

Originally Posted by hankster

For a while i had appointments two days in a row, and i swear the best part was just getting to say, "see you TOMORROW!" T would say it too, and we would laugh like a couple of idiot kids. Sometimes therapy is like being drunk or high. Otherwise seemingly stupid things can take on huge import, but i think thats our brain at play, which i believe is how it heals, if you let it. If you let it make those connections.

Yeah... this... seems to be so very true for me. Talking to my t this evening we got on the subject of parallel parking (cuz I had just told her my son is about to get his driving permit, eek!) she asked if I could do it, I said not to save my life, and she told me a story of when she took drivers ed many years ago her instructor was also the math teacher, and he was giving her some formula or other for how to parallel park and she said she replied "Can't I just feel my way into the space?" Ha. I related how my instructor wisely told me "get really good at everything ELSE, then you won't have to worry about it on your test." We giggled like a coupla teenagers and I started feeling very connected to her again... that connection was missing for me the last couple of appointments... good to have it back....

[peaches100]

Awwww, Granite. . .(((((Granite))))). . .it's OK. Some days are just like that. You are working through some very hard things in therapy right now. Just take comfort in knowing your t is right there with you, whether you are able to speak or not.

Peaches

[WikidPissah]

sorry chickie....

[blur]

sweet granite, i got this in my email today from my art journaling class. i totally thought of you when i read it.

Dear Beloved Girl,

There really are wonderful, kind, good, and noble people in the world.

Sometimes it seems like they are few and far between, but they are sauntering in the same light-filled places that you are and that you crave to be.

If you have been hurt in the past and it's hard to trust others, please believe that there really ARE beautiful, true souls in the world, and that you need them and they need you.

Life is not meant to be spent alone and isolated.

Be brave and reach out. Your life will take on new dimensions of joy when you are surround by like-minded, light-filled, beauty-filled souls like you.

You really are so beautiful. Such a beautiful, beautiful soul. Thank you for that.

You are so loved.

xoxo

[tametc]

((((((((((Granite))))))))))

[granite1]

Originally Posted by blur

sweet granite, i got this in my email today from my art journaling class. i totally thought of you when i read it.

thank you that was awesome . what kind of art journal do you keep?

[Aloneandafraid]

Wow Blur - what a beautiful email to receive from your art journaling class. I would be so overwhelmed to receive anything like this. Totally awesome.

((((((Granite)))))) Thinking of you and sending hugs.

I had a horrible session yesterday. Left feeling stupid, numb, uncomfortable and a total mess. Embarrassed and feeling like I want to quit T. I relate so much to everthing you have written Granite. Thank you so much for sharing. xx

[granite1]

I felt completely numb also . but I felt it is better then being so angry. . my T said that maybe I don't have any idea why I am feeling the way I am and she wishes that I would let her help me get to the bottom of it

[blur]

Originally Posted by granite1

thank you that was awesome . what kind of art journal do you keep?

granite, i'm taking a class through the 'brave girls club'. i love it. the class is called 'soul restoration' and we make a small chipboard book, these little cards (i use old playing cards and paint/collage them) with great affirming quotes, and a regular art journal too. i'm just doing the first two right now and will do more actual art journaling once i'm a bit caught up.

Originally Posted by Aloneandafraid

Wow Blur - what a beautiful email to receive from your art journaling class. I would be so overwhelmed to receive anything like this. Totally awesome.

aaa, you can sign up for the 'daily truth emails' here.