[GenCat]

I feel like I have nothing I want to talk to my T about ever again. I don't want to see her ever again. She is poison to me. I hate therapy, it is pointless.

I'm sorry, GenCat.

[Raging Quiet]

What happened?

[GenCat]

Originally Posted by Raging Quiet

What happened?

We don't talk about anything helpful to me, we just chitchat about our day. And then she always says so what do you want to talk about today? like I know!? your suppose to be the one with the plan for me! I feel lost in therapy and don't know what to do or where to go.

[WePow]

I hear you. I have had therapy days like that. T said that he was empowering me.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by GenCat

We don't talk about anything helpful to me, we just chitchat about our day. And then she always says so what do you want to talk about today? like I know!? your suppose to be the one with the plan for me! I feel lost in therapy and don't know what to do or where to go.

quesiton... what brought you in to therapy...I know sometimes it hard to understand but therapists do not have the answers.

the way therapy works is a person goes to therapy with a problem. they (the person going to therapy) talks about that problem that brought them in to therapy. then together the person going to therapy and the therapist talk about what you can do about that problem. Then the person in therapy tries what ever they came up with during therapy. then the next session the person going into therapy tells the therapist whether they tried the suggestions from the last session and whether it worked or not. if not both the therapist and the person in therapy talk about other possible things to do.

usually when a session turns into just chit chat it means the person who went to see the therapist did not tell the therapist they are having a problem that week and with what.

therapists are not mind readers they can only work on things if their clients bring the problem up and to their therapist...

example...

I was having a problem with flashbacks from a work related trauma. I went to therapy and all we did was chit chat. and some where during the session my therapist would ask so what do you want to talk about today, and I would say I dont know...(knowing full well I was having problems but blaming the therapist for not taking with me about those problems.) I got more and more angry until one day it finally clicked....

therapist hi how was your day...
me ok, its been quite busy at the crisis center and Im on night duty this week. I went to dunkin donuts they have a new coffee, its ok. dont think Im going to buy it again though...

and for a bit we talked about her's and my love of coffee and then...

therapist so what do you want to talk about today?
me I dont know.
therapist.... so im supposed to read your mind as to why you are here today, what your problems are. sorry Im not a psychic, if you want my help with something you need to tell me what I can help you with....

I thought about it and she was right she didnt know what to talk with me about because I was not telling her. she cant jump into my brain or magically read my thoughts to know I was having a problem with work related trauma and flashbacks...

me ...wll there is something I need your help on, you remember when ....well lately loud noises are triggering flashbacks, its starting to interfere with my job....

then because I brought up the problem we were able to work on it together.

most therapists in the USA do not assume they know their clients so well that they know what the client needs to to each session. the treatment plans are just a basic guideline but not when and how a client needs to work on that treatment plan. its all in the hands of the person going to therapy, they need to tell the therapist what they want to work on each session.

what helped me over this hurdle is through out the week I keep a daily journal/diary. the night before my therapy session I read that journal/diary and decide what problems I had during the week that I would like to discuss with my therapist and have her help in finding solutions.

maybe doing what I do can help make your therapy sessions more productive for you. your therapist cant read your mind and doesnt know what you want to work on if you dont tell her what your problems are.

[Bill3]

we just chitchat about our day.

This is not professional.

And then she always says so what do you want to talk about today?

This is not necessarily bad. It can help point the discussion to whatever is most important in the client's mind.

I feel lost in therapy and don't know what to do or where to go.

This would be a fine comment for you to make to start a session.

[RTerroni]

I know that this Therapist has caused much difficulty for you, perhaps it is time to see someone else.

[GenCat]

Originally Posted by RTerroni

I know that this Therapist has caused much difficulty for you, perhaps it is time to see someone else.

I don't want to start over and tell my life stories to another stranger. I like my T, maybe too much but its a love hate relationship with her. She's really done more good than bad, you all just dont hear the good. I know I've probably painted a dark picture of her but she's really helped me this past year and I'm not leaving her anytime soon. I just don't want to see her for awhile.

[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by GenCat

I don't want to start over and tell my life stories to another stranger. I like my T, maybe too much but its a love hate relationship with her. She's really done more good than bad, you all just dont hear the good. I know I've probably painted a dark picture of her but she's really helped me this past year and I'm not leaving her anytime soon. I just don't want to see her for awhile.

But have you got into boundaries with her.

[GenCat]

Originally Posted by RTerroni

But have you got into boundaries with her.

What do you mean?

[RTerroni]

I though that you were the person who had the Therapist with lose boundaries (i.e. going out dancing, going to a concert together, ect.).

[Favorite Jeans]

Originally Posted by GenCat

We don't talk about anything helpful to me, we just chitchat about our day. And then she always says so what do you want to talk about today? like I know!? your suppose to be the one with the plan for me! I feel lost in therapy and don't know what to do or where to go.

Ok. That's frustrating. Though I think that's the kind of thing you can work through. I don't think my T has a plan for me, I think we work through stuff as I bring it up. That's pretty standard as far as I can tell. I do have this fantasy of her totally taking charge and me just getting to answer fun questions (like "if you could magically remake some decision in your life, what would you do?") or something.

But "she's poison to me" sounds like there is something much worse than that going on. I don't think you've painted a "dark" picture of her here, I think you've painted a picture of a T with boundary issues who doesn't seem like she's at the top of her game. That's my perception at any rate. But where do you think your sense that she's "poison" is coming from?