Coming back after a break

When you or your T have long holidays, are ill or for whatever reason you have to take longer break (in my case 5 weeks) - how is it to come back? Do you actually want to come back, I'm afraid that it will be a disaster, I'll be extremely resistant and why actually should I "open" again if already in July my T goes for 5 weeks holidays?
It's like I am in the "hibernating" mode, so I function well and stay in the window of tolerance, so at least in theory it is better than when I attend sessions...

Now my T is still on holidays and next week I'll have a conference so I'll see her on May 20th. However, when I realized that the conference is only 1.5h from my T's city I've asked if my usual slot is still free (I meet her in the evenings) because than I could come already next week. But T said that it is not free anymore, I could come at 9 am but she's aware that it is not possible due to the conference... And I agreed that I cannot come then, so we'll meet on May 20th... However now, when I checked all sessions and presentations which I want to attend, I saw that actually I could make it also at 9 am... But do I want it? Asking again? It would be like I am in a crisis but I am not. On one hand I want to meet her but on the other hand I have nothing to talk about! I'd go there on Tuesday morning and what would I say? It's like on May 20th I'll go because I "have to" (the appointment was set a long time ago) so I will "have the right" to be resistant and have a terrible session... While if I go earlier it would be because I asked my T, so I should be active etc...

Coming back to my question, how does usually your first session after a break look like, is it really terrible and you cannot connect? How do you behave during such session?

My T tries to make sure that she doesn't take long vacations like that. At the most she will take a week off. But once she took a week off, and then I took a week off right after that, and so there were a few weeks between appointments.

And honestly, it wasn't nearly as bad as I was dreading. It wasn't awkward or anything. She was just fine, and so was I. It just took a few minutes to reorient myself to her and to therapy.

My session after a break of 4 weeks was okay. I see my T every 2 weeks now, anyway. It's been hard getting used to that, but I don't have a choice. I felt connected to my T, but a little bit distant. I wasn't feeling up to par, so that added to a sense of "not really being there." I thought I'd be happier to be back, and maybe show more emotion, but I was just "myself".

I'm sorry the above doesn't seem very helpful, as I reread it. I think that the break itself doesn't have to affect your session, and that if you have a good relationship with your T, you'll "settle in" again, just as always.

In your case it may be more difficult because you're facing another 5 week break. I'd see her earlier if could, next week, if I were you. It doesn't matter when the appointment was "supposed to be". I'm sure you'll find things to talk about. Good luck!

I have asked my Therapist if she is planning on taking a vacation this summer and she says that she has no plans as of right now.

It has varied. After T's first summer holiday it was like starting from scratch, but I had only been seeing him for a month before the summer. Last year it was much easier, but the first session was a bit tentative. After the Christmas holidays it has actually been harder, even though those are only 2-3 weeks, but Christmas and especially the days around New Years Day are so awful and I rather resent being completely without support then... which has translated into me being in a bad mood once I get to see T again. After the Easter break it has been pretty much as it ever is.

I would ask your T to get the 9am appointment. I think you have just as much right to be there, even if the appointment wasn't decided long ago. You could bring up this question about the connection with your T.

My T use to go away for long periods of time 2-3 times a year, out of the country. It got better the longer I saw her because I would deliberately work with myself on therapy issues when she was gone. But sometimes some of a session would be hard, catching up and getting to feeling better but then it felt more like we were on the "continuing" road instead of the break road, like having to take a rough detour but now being back on the main road.

Thank you very much, it helped a lot so actually I have just sent an e-mail asking if I still can come in the morning... Somehow I have the feeling that it won't be possible anymore but at least I tried

But whenever I try to imagine how the session could look like - I have no idea, I simply do not know what I could talk about which is weird because I remember that before the break I could have thought about hundreds of topics... I think that's also the reason why I'd prefer to meet next week: if the session is a disaster, it won't matter so much because I'll be pretty busy afterwards, preparing my talk, focus on meeting people etc. so I won't have time to think about the session... At least I hope so...

Actually it was very helpful - thanks And like you've written I am afraid that I'll be distant and just emotionless and I'm almost sure that it will be exactly like that... And afterwards I'll be pretty mad at myself for acting like that, ech, I guess I have to get used to myself

Thank you very much for sharing your experience, maybe it won't be as bad as I imagine And I've followed your advice, so hopefully I'll have a session on Tuesday - thank you

Ufff, so I got my appointment on Tuesday
It is so interesting to get an e-mail from T and analyze every word which is there I guess that's why many Ts do not do therapy via e-mail - some clients (like me) would analyze every word and could make pretty wrong conclusions. Anyway, the email was very nice. I wrote one sentence that I'm sorry for spamming but it looks that I could come then if it's still possible, and I got the response:


No spamming at all…, just normal questions for coordinating!
Since I was on vacation, nothing changed so far. So you are welcome at 9.
Good, so looking forward to meeting you soon. Have a nice weekend.

(I love this exclamation mark ) but my first reaction was: brrrrrrrr, no, I hate it, I even cannot read it, why couldn't she just write: "yes, it's still possible" period. Like it was already hurting just reading it and I hate this e-mail... And I "hate" this e-mail so much that I have to read it over and over again because it makes me smiling
Anyone can relate or only I am so crazy?

I always found the 1st session back was disappointing... I think the waiting just led me to increase expectations...on myself and my T...