Staring at each other

It's taken as a sign of aggression by dogs, yes! Not necessarily by humans. It would depend on the context.

I would rather the woman be aggressive than endure her attempts at empathy.

When I make prolonged eye contact it is aggressive on my end.

As others have said, eye contact is an important part of relating to another human being. Even if we can't look at our Ts, we don't want them to sit there and ignore us and not see us. I have found it helps to put sunglasses on so I can look at my T without feeling intimidated. I still find it hard, though. It's kind of like looking at the sun. I wish I could do it more. Because he never looks how I think he will, I always expect something other than the empathy and compassion I see.

There have been a few occasions when my T has pushed me to look at him so I don't imagine how he's feeling, namely when I've been convinced he's angry or rejecting me. Like when I spilled water on his carpet and got really scared and freaked out (regression, transference, whatever). He told me I really needed to look at him and it was scary but I did it. And saw my T looked kind, compassionate and not a bit angry. It was like turning on the light, looking under the bed and seeing there was no monster.

I hate making eye contact with him, because I feel it is way too revealing to what goes on in my head. I like to have control on when and what way to say things. Sometimes my eyes can give me away, unfortunately. He definitely makes more eye contact with me than I do with him.

“I’m good at loving books. I’m good at loving soft bed sheets. I’m good at loving coffees and teas. I am good at loving things that can’t love me back, that don’t have the power to leave. And maybe, that’s why I love them.”

Interesting variety of responses. I think that the intimate prolonged eye contact is something I miss the most in the year and a half since she moved away. Can't get that over the phone!! But I still feel our connection, we can be on the phone and neither of us talking, and we both feel our connection.

I love their unwavering eye contact. One time, I was having a particularly hard session and I just stared directly into their eyes, it was almost painful because it was like 30 seconds or longer, and we just sat there in silence, and in my head I kept pleading 'please just help me, help me, don't you see it in my eyes'...but they never did understand so now to this day I feel embarrassed.
But one of my Ts explained that they are taught how to be comfortable in silence

My T's eyes are what get me. She stares and it makes it easy to tell her stuff. Sometimes I get a sinking feeling in my chest. Maybe where all my feelings are hiding?

I'm struggling a lot with eye contact in therapy. I don't have a problem with it in the "real world..." I find that in therapy lately I can only look at my T while he's talking to me, and then I look at my hands or the empty chair while I'm talking. It makes me feel kind of rude and awkward. I guess the best way to improve it would be to... talk about it with him!

I do that often, too. I don't think it's rude though. I think it is what it is I've worked on it but it's a process for me.

It depends on the session and topic for me. I used to never make eye contact, I started gradually when I started to trust her. Now we usually have some moments where we look at each other in silence for some seconds - 4, 5, never 30 lol - and it is very intense. I am starting to do it also after sharing something "big" to sort of check her reaction (this one is so difficult). I like it though, because I find it reassuring and I haven't caught any judgmental look so far. it makes me feel deeply connected.

I can look at her face or her eyes for a few seconds. Only just. Then I will spend the rest of the session looking at her feet!!!

lots of silence in my therapy. doesnt bother me. i often use the time to look into t's eyes. she HATES IT. says i cant look her in the eye unless we are talking, having a conversation, that it violates social standards.

Me too! I know her toes very well!

I could look into my therapist's eyes for the entire session and not say a word, not that it ever happens, she is the one who after a while of staring at each other eventually asks me something.

The only time I don't look her in the eye is when I'm saying something difficult and I look past her out the window.

Silence is one thing I find very hard. I made the point a few times. I explained it too. Although they have their ways of working and I do not agree with them all.

WTF?

The more I hear about your therapist, the less I think she's got any of her professional shitake together.

I'm a professional shoe-gazer if I don't have a sketchpad with me. I make eye contact more when I am not certain what to say, listening, or feeling vulnerable and wanting to see T's expression. Often, I'm drawing while we talk, though.